


The Lies of Life

by Ahmose_Inarus



Series: Let Me In [9]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M, Male Slash, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:33:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4334033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahmose_Inarus/pseuds/Ahmose_Inarus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let Me In: 9 - Reid goes missing while visiting his mother. The team is called in when his rental car is found, but then a mass grave is found across state lines. And evidence says that the killer may have the BAU's youngest member. But what is he doing to him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The man was woken by the wind. He slowly sat up, wincing as the arthritis made itself known in his joints. He really needed to move to a warmer climate. But Wyoming had always been his home. No reason to leave. He was born here, he would die here. Like his son. Like Alex. 

He turned and glanced at the framed photographs on his dresser. In the darkness he couldn’t make them out, but his eyes moved directly to where Alex’s face smiled out at him through the dark. He was a tall, thin young man with wavy chestnut hair and deep frown eyes set in a pale face. Alex had such a way with the animals… He was going to go to school to become a veterinarian, like his father, Jonathan. But Flint had changed all of that.

Slowly Jonathan stood and walked to the window. He pushed the curtain aside and stared out across the yard towards the barn. His eyes lingered on the shutters that covered the window. Just on the other side was aging dappled gray stallion. A gorgeous creature. But he had a fiery spirit. He was the only one Alex couldn’t break in. No. Alex did not break Flint… Flint had broken Alex. Thrown him from his back and broken the young man’s neck. How long ago was that? Ten years? Fifteen? No matter… He would be able to remember in the morning.

A flurry of snow blew past the window, glinting in the light that the moon and billions of stars gave off. Winter was fighting to survive, but spring was on the move. Already there were buds on the trees. Already the first green grass was sprouting.

Jonathan’s eyes traveled back to the barn again. The mares would be foaling soon. All those foals… How was it that the he could tend and raise the offspring of the beast that had killed his own child? He sighed and turned, frowning at his bedroom door. There was a faint light creeping under it. 

Jonathan stiffly walked over to the door and pushed it open. There was a light on in the living room. Jonathan made his way down the hall and emerged into the room. There had been dying embers in the fireplace when he had gone to bed, but now there was a cozy little fire crackling in the stone fireplace.

Sprawled out before it was a young man in pajamas. He was tall and lean, pale with wavy brown hair and warm golden brown eyes. He was laying on his stomach, a large thick book open in front of him. Jonathan watched the young man’s finger skim down the page, taking all of two seconds, then move to the next. He turned the page and repeated the skimming. It amazed Jonathan. The boy could skim more rapidly than Jonathan had believed possible, and then quote from memory the entire page, word for word. The boy had been reading all of his books on veterinary medicine that he had accumulated over his thirty years of practice. He wished that he had found this young man sooner. He was such a help at the clinic.

Jonathan then noticed two pairs of glowing eyes staring at him. Curled up in the small of the boy’s back were two blue eyed kittens, only about ten to twelve weeks old. They were both Siamese kittens. One was a seal point, the other was a flame point. They had been found in a basket on the doorstep of the vet clinic by the young man and Jonathan had allowed him to keep the two little creatures. They followed him wherever he went now, tails held high. The kittens closed their eyes again.

Jonathan looked at the piles of books surrounding the boy now. He had been at this for a long time…

“Dreams again?” He asked softly, and the young man blinked and looked up with a small smile.

“Yeah…” He said. “I keep dreaming about the same people. It’s like I know them, but…”

“Son… You’ve described them to me several times. There’s no one like them around these parts.” Jonathan said slowly, sinking into his old chair and staring down at the boy.

“I have a name this time…”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. The dark haired guy. In the suit. I remember the others calling him… Hodge? Hock? Hotch! They were calling him Hotch.”

“Hmmm… don’t know anyone by the name of Hotch, son.” Jonathan said slowly, carefully eyeing the boy on the floor before him. But there was nothing but thoughtful confusion in the young man’s face.

“I just wish I could remember.”

“Give it time, son. It’ll come back to you. You hit your head pretty hard. Flint could have killed you.”

“Yeah… Maybe it’s time to throw in the towel.”

“Oh, you don’t have a choice about that, boy.” Jonathan said, sternly. “I don’t want you near him again. Understand me?”

“Yeah.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes Dad. I understand.” The boy sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Good.” Jonathan said, standing. “Get back to bed.”

“As soon as I finish this book.”

“Alright. I’ll wake you at seven.”

“M’kay.”

“Goodnight Alex.”

“Night…” Came the reply; the boy was already flipping to another page. 

Jonathan returned to his room. This boy, out of all of them, was his favorite. Brilliant, quick and helpful. It saddened him to see him beginning to get the dreams so soon. It had only taken him two weeks. With all the others, it had been two months. But soon after the dreams, the memories would begin to return. Once the boy realized that Jonathan had been lying, he would try to leave. And then Jonathan would have to kill him. It had happened with all the others. It would happen with this one. And this one in particular would be risky. He wouldn’t just try to leave. He would try to destroy Jonathan’s life. He regretted that he would have to kill this Alex. But if he let him go, the boy would return with his colleagues.

As Jonathan was settling back into bed. FBI offices all over the United States were filled with the ringing of their fax machines. The machines whirled to life and a piece of paper printed out, falling into the tray to be found by Agents first thing in the morning. It showed a tall, thin, pale youth with a shy, awkward smile. He had dark hair and dark eyes. In big bold letter, the flier read MISSING: SSA Dr. Spencer Reid.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

One Week Later…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

SSA Aaron Hotchner stared out the window of the small jet. He was oblivious to his team, sitting around anxiously. Agent Morgan was also staring out the window, tapping his fingers on his knees with his head stuck into the headphones. Agent Jareau was impatiently flipping through papers as if something new would jump out at her. Agent Prentiss had a book open in her lap, but she did not read it. She was too busy staring off into space. Agent Rossi was leaning back with his eyes closed, but the man wasn’t asleep. Each and ever person on that plane had their mind on one thing; the Agent from the FBI Field Office in Salt Lake City had called them. He had only one thing to tell them. They had found Reid’s rental car.

Almost a month ago, Reid had gone to visit his mother. While he was there, the BAU had received a request from Salt Lake City. JJ had discussed it with Hotch. They didn’t feel the need to send the whole team. So they had asked Reid to go and take a look at what the Salt Lake Field Office had. The boy had agreed. 

He had gone. He had looked over the case. He had given a profile. And within two days, the UnSub was in custody. And so Reid had left the Salt Lake City Field Office and headed back to Las Vegas to spend a few more days with his mother. But he never arrived. The car had been found about 160 miles outside of Salt Lake City on the side of the road in a ditch. That was all the team had been told. They had been on the jet less than half an hour later.

Reid had been missing for almost three weeks. The team was a wreck, all worried to death about their youngest member. Hotch more than anyone. Despite his attempts to keep it hidden, the man constantly found himself fingering the ring he wore on a chain around his neck. An opal was set into the golden band… Reid’s birthstone. Reid wore a matching ring around his own neck, a ruby set into the gold. Hotch’s birthstone. 

It killed Hotchner… the not knowing… not knowing where Reid was… not knowing if he was okay. Not knowing if he were alive… He could be lost, alone, scared… He could be crying in pain… he could be dying… and Hotch couldn’t help him. He was desperate to get the boy back. As were they all. The awkward youth was family.

When the plane touched down, they met Agent De Salvo from the Salt Lake City Field Office.

“We found tire tracks by his car.” The man said immediately after introductions were made. “We taped off the scene. No one has touched anything since you spoke with Agent Verano. Your Agent, your case, sir.”

“thank you.” Hotch said as they all piled into Bureau SUV’s. “We want to go straight to the crime scene.”

“Yessir.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jonathan woke to the smells of breakfast cooking. Dear God, had the boy slept?!

He got out of bed and pulled on his robe, then shuffled out to the kitchen. “Alex” was standing by the stove, scrambling some eggs while the kittens enjoyed their breakfast in the corner. Bacon was already sitting on a plate wrapped in paper towels, and a moment later the toaster popped. The young man reached out and snatched the Eggo waffles and placed them on a plate, then snatched up the coffee mug sitting by him and sipped it.

Jonathan shuddered. He had learned over the past few weeks that the boy had a VERY unhealthy sweet tooth, and that the contents of the mug was likely more sugar than coffee… then a plate was set down before him.

“Morning.” Reid said, smiling.

“Morning Alex. Sleep well?” Jonathan asked.

“Yeah.”

“Any more dreams?”

“… A bit.” Reid said, shrugging. “Do… do you know someone who likes to call me uh… Pretty Boy?”

“… No…” Jonathan said, slowly. He eyed Reid up and down, then snorted and poked a strip of bacon into his mouth. “You eaten?”

“Yessir.” Reid said, sipping more coffee. He looked down into the corner at the kittens with their heads in their dishes. “I’m gonna go out and check the mares.” He said, pulling on his boots and coat.

“Alright.” Jonathan said.

Reid turned and pushed open the door, stepping out in the crisp morning air. His breath misted, and the frost covered grass crunched slightly under his feet. He took a deep breath, and glanced out at the pasture. Mist hung thick over the ground, but the golden sun rising above the trees was beginning to burn it away.

Reid unlatched the door to the stable and heaved it open, stepping in. It was warmer in here without the biting February wind. March was only a few days away. Spring was early this year…

Reid pulled a stethoscope off of the hook on the wall and flicked on the lights, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth to warn the horses of his presence. He heard them stirring. Flint snorted loudly, hanging his head over the door to his stall. The horse laid his dark eyes on the young man and tilted his ears back, letting out a deep, challenging neigh. Reid jumped slightly and kept his distance as he passed the gray stallion’s stall. He moved down the row, ducking under the nose of the friendly bay gelding, Baron. 

Then he reached the five mares. He unlatched the first stall and slipped in. The aging black mare turned and nickered, walking over to him, swishing her tail. Reid smiled and stroked her velvety nose, running his other hand across her withers. She snuffled over his pockets, looking for a treat that he may have brought. His smile widened into a grin.

“Okay, okay… Here.” He murmured, holding out a sugar cubs in his palm. Her lips brushed across his hand and she swiped the thing up, crunching happily. Reid put the ear buds of his stethoscope into his ears and pressed it to her belly, listening intently. He moved it around. He heard her heartbeat. Her strong breathing. Then another faint pulse. The foal’s heart was strong and even. He smiled.

The mare’s name was Morgan Le Fae. He had already made it clear to Jonathan that if the foal was a colt, its name would be Mordred. 

He performed a brief vaginal exam. She would not be foaling today. He turned and changed her water and filled her food trough, then moved to the next mare. She was a pale gray named Moondancer. The results were pretty much the same. A piebald pinto mare named Candy was very annoyed with the examination, and even tried to bite Reid at one point. Reid finished quickly and moved to the fourth mare, a Palomino named Sahara. And his heart leapt in excitement. She was not standing to greet him, but was lying on the floor of her stall. After performing a quick exam, Reid ran out of the stable and up to the house.

“Dad!” He called, poking his head into the kitchen. “Sahara is down.”

“I’ll be out in a minute, son. The others?”

“Not ready yet. I haven’t checked Sioux.”

“Well, get to it, Alex.” Jonathan said. Reid nodded and returned to the stable, heading down to the last stall to check the buckskin filly. This would be her first foal. She was the same as the others… close, but not yet ready to drop her foal just yet. Reid returned to Sahara just as Jonathan entered the stable to perform his own exam.

“She’ll be a while yet.” The man announced. “I want you to check on her ever hour. Why don’t you go open up?”

“Okay.” Reid said. He moved down to the end of the stable and unlocked the door. He stepped into the building that the stable was attached to; Jonathan’s Veterinary Hospital. He moved around, turning on the lights and the machinery. Then he went to the front desk and pulled the files for the day’s appointments and made sure the exam room was clean, then unlocked the front door and flipped over the open sign.

He checked the messages on the answering machine. Nothing. All this done, he looked up and saw a pickup truck driving up the dirt road. It stopped and a tall man got out. In the bed of the truck were three dogs, and a fourth in the cab. Alex picked up four medical files. This was their first appointment. He smiled as the man walked in.

“Mr. Avery?”

“Mornin’.” The man drawled, nodding. Alex looked down at the four dogs, three male. He smiled, taking the young female and getting her weight, already mentally calculating the dosages for all the drugs and medications she would need that day for her spay.

“If you will go ahead into the room, we’ll be with you soon.” He said.

“How soon will she be ready?” The man asked, pointing to the female.

“Depends on how quick the surgery goes and how long it takes her to recover from the anesthesia.” Reid said. He asked the owner a few questions, then took the dog to the back and set her down, pressing the stethoscope to her chest. He took her temperature, pulse and respiration, beginning his notes in her file. 

S: Pet is presented for spay. C reports that pet is e/d/u/d wnl, no c/s/v/d or itching. Current on flea/hwp.

O: T- 101.2, P-130, R-40, MM-pink/moist, BAR, wt: 43.9, BCS (5/9) long nails, mild dental calculus, h/l-wnl, c/s-wnl

A: OHE, pedi, EAG

P: CE. Cbc, iof, diff, Rimadyl 32.5mg PO BID x 5 days

He kenneled her when Jonathan arrived, and followed him into the exam room.

“Dr. Wilkes.” Mr. Avery greeted, and Jonathan nodded, smiling.

“Good morning, Grant.” He said, kneeling and greeting the excited dogs. “Alex, would you pull up their vaccines, please.”

“Yessir.” Reid said, turning and leaving the room, heading to the refrigerator. He opened it and looked in, reaching for the trays of vials holding the vaccines. He selected three of each. 

RABIES: Killed Virus 

He held the vial upside down and slid a needle into it, drawing the pale pink liquid into the syringe. His mind briefly recalled the first time he had done this since his accident resulting in his amnesia… when he had drawn the vaccine into the needle like this, his entire body had shivered in a strange delight, and he suddenly found himself longing to plunge the needle into his own arm and inject the liquid. The idea had both thrilled and frightened him… 

It still happened occasionally, the shiver and adrenaline rush as he drew the vaccines… He picked up six more vials. Three were a powder (Canine Distemper – Adenovirus – Type 2 - Parvovirus Vaccine), the other three a clear liquid (Sterile Dilutent). It was the clear liquid that got the strongest reaction from him… He couldn’t understand why. He drew the liquid into the syringe, then slid the needles into the vials filled with the fine powder and squirted it into the vials. Then, needle still in the vial, he placed the tiny bottle into the palm of his hand and rolled it back and forth rapidly, the powder quickly dissolving into the liquid.

Once it was a pale peachy colored liquid, he drew it all into the syringes. He pulled the label sticker off of the vials and stuck them onto the syringes, placed them all into a small metal box and carried them back into the exam room. He assisted Jonathan with the exam on the here dogs, and restrained them while he administered the vaccines. Then he saw Mr. Avery out before heading back to the female. She was a good dog, and held still while he shaved her forearm and scrubbed it with alcohol, then placed an IV Catheter. He ran the blood work, ad everything came back normal.

“Ready?” Jonathan said, and Reid nodded. A sedative was administered and Reid held her head up Jonathan intubated her, and then the young man carried her into the surgery suite. Within one minute they had everything hooked up and had her fully under anesthesia. They proceeded with the surgery, Reid taking notes the whole time while monitoring her vitals.

Surgical site shaved and prepped with surgical scrub and alcohol.

Ventral midline incision.

Ovaries and uterus excised and pedicles ligated as following: single transfixation ligature 2-0 pds

Closure of Lineal Alba as follows: simple continuous 2-0 pds

Subcutaneous closure as follows: simple continuous 3-0 pds

Skin closure as follows: intradermal 3-0 pds

All in all, the spay only took about fifteen minutes. Then they moved her to recovery and prepared to see their next appointments. The next came in just as Reid was jotting down “IV Agent and Concetration: Propofol 10 mg/ml Quantity: 3 ml”. He stood, smiling at the woman with her cat, and took her to the exam room and went to prepare the vaccines. As soon as they were finished, Jonathan sent him to check Sahara.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	2. Chapter 2

The two black SUV’s made their way up the winding road, then finally pulled over by a busy scene. Yellow tape roped off the side of the road, and the place was crawling with police, CSI and FBI. Agent Hotchner stepped out of the vehicle and moved across the snow, his team behind him.

“Agent Hotchner.” Agent De Salvo said, gesturing to another man. “This is Agent Verano.” The man turned and nodded to Hotch.

“Agent Hotchner. I wish I could say it’s a pleasure. I’m sorry we had to meet under these circumstances.” Verano said. Hotch nodded.

“What have you found?” He asked, watching his team converge on the car and CSI, looking at the scene for themselves and asking questions.

“We’ve lifted a few prints from the car, but it’s a rental.” Verano said. “The most helpful thing is this.” He pointed several yards away where CSI seemed to be making a cast of a few things in the snow. “We have tire tracks… and THIS.” He knelt. “We have one set of footsteps. Moving towards the car, they’re clear and defined. He’s lifting his feet above the snow with every step and deliberately placing it down again. But on his way BACK from the car to his OWN truck, this.” Hotch knelt, seeing the difference for himself. “The prints in the show are deeper, and he’s dragging his feet THROUGH the snow rather than stepping over it. He’s carrying a load.” Verano said. “Probably your agent.” Hotch nodded.

“Do we know what kind of car he drives?”

“Still don’t have results back but it looks like a larger vehicle. Truck, SUV, something like that.” Verano stood. “We found skid marks back that way.” He said, pointing. “Your Agent was forced off of the road. He was going the other way, but the can spun out.”

“If he used a gun to get Reid out of his car, Reid would have walked on his own.” Hotch said, walking over to Reid’s rental. “But he carried him. Was this because Reid was unable to walk out of this car on his own? And if so, why? Did he hit his head in the crash?”

“Hotch.” Morgan said, standing. “There is a bit of blood on the steering wheel. But I think this is how Reid was incapacitated.” And he held up a small object in his gloved hand. It was the cap to a syringe. “Reid was injected with something.” Hotch nodded. He joined his team in checking out the scene… Reid’s leather messenger bag still lay on the passenger seat… his gun lay on top.

“The UnSub used a needle and not the gun. Why?” Rossi said. “Why not take the gun to use against Reid?”

“Maybe he doesn’t NEED the gun.” Prentiss said, shrugging. 

A black sedan pulled up, red and blue lights flashing. A young man got out and jogged over.

“Agent Hotchner?!” He called, looking around at all the people on the scene.

“I’m Agent Hotchner.” Hotch said, frowning at the excited young man. “And you are?”

“Agent Reiji Tanigawa.” The young man said, shaking Hotch’s hand.

“What’s going on?” Verano asked.

“We tried to call you, but—“

“No service out here.” Verano said. 

Tanigawa nodded. “We got a call from Idaho. They found a mass grave site, they want Agent Hotchner’s team there right away.”

“We’re working on another case right now.” Hotch said sternly. Obviously he was not going to be very tolerant.

“I assure you, Agent Hotchner.” Tanigawa said. “This may have something to do with it. It’s a mass grave with twenty seven bodies, just inside the borders of Idaho. It’s only point seven miles from Utah border, and three miles from the Wyoming border.”

“And the relevance?” Hotchner growled.

“Your missing Agent’s fingerprints have been discovered at the scene.” Tanigawa said, and suddenly found the attention of the entire BAU team on him. “They called Quantico, and Quantico told them to call us.”

“How far is this grave site.” Rossi demanded.

“A couple of hours.” Tanigawa said, shrugging.

“… What were his prints on?” Morgan asked.

“… One of the murder weapons.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Reid knelt beside Jonathan Wilkes, latex gloves on his hands, a stack of towels an blankets waiting.

“Come on, girl…” Jonathan hissed, slapping the mare’s rump. She was giving birth. The forelegs of the foal had already emerged. The mare squealed softly and thrashed a bit. Reid frowned and took hold of the legs, and watched. When a ripple passed over the mare’s belly, he tugged. And suddenly, the foal spilled out onto the hay. The mare stumbled to her feet and shook herself, then turned around and nosed over the foal. Reid stripped the placenta off of the foal as the little thing began to kick it’s legs and breathe. 

“Odd coloring.” Reid said, cocking his head. The foal was mainly palomino, like its dam, but across it’s shoulders and rump the pale gold faded to a dappled silver… just like its sire, Flint. Reid checked over the foal, his mind spinning with facts that he had picked up from Wilkes’ books regarding new born foals.

“Filly.” He said, looking up at Jonathan. The man nodded.

“I want you to bunk down in here tonight.” He said. “Keep an eye on them.”

“sure.” Reid said, nodding.

“For now, go ahead and exercise Baron.”

“Okay.” Reid said, standing and stripping off his gloves, placing them in the trash. Then he went to the far wall and took down Baron’s tack. The aging bay gelding swished his tail and accepted the bit in his mouth readily, allowing Reid to buckle the bridle onto his head. The horse stomped a foot when the blanket was tossed over his back. Reid set the saddle down onto the animals’ back an shoved it up into place, then tightened the girth, buckling it securely. He checked the stirrups, then took the reigns and led Baron out of the stable. Flint neighed as they passed. Reid flinched away, Baron ignored it. 

The sun was getting ready to set. Reid used his long legs, placing onto foot into the stirrup, gripping the saddle horn, and then leaping up, hauling himself into place and swinging his other leg over. He sat astride the horse, made sure than everything was okay, then laid the reins on the side of the beasts’ neck. Baron snorted, turned, and at a firm kick, broke into an easy canter.

Reid thoroughly enjoyed his morning and evening rides with Baron. The horse was even tempered, and his gait was smooth. Reid knew that Baron enjoyed these rides, too. They headed down a trail through the woods, and Reid enjoyed the quiet peace of the scene. The air was cold and crisp, but the first signs of spring were showing. Trees were beginning to blossom. Grass was beginning to sprout, and the first spring flowers were peeping up from the ground. Birds were building their nests, and a few days ago, Reid had seen a doe with her young fawn at the pond. He was enjoying this season… but it bothered him that he could not remember any before this one… 

But the dreams… He dreamed of the same six people every night.

The first was a black male in his mid thirties. He was always smiling. Laughing. Teasing him. Called him ‘Pretty Boy’ and ‘Kid’. But there were also moments when the man stared at him with a look of patience and empathy… Reid felt that he had been able to trust and confide in this man.

Then there was an eccentric blonde. Heavy makeup, glittery jewelry, hair pieces and clothes. Always smiling. Also teasing. But also someone he felt that he could confide in… this was someone he felt was always there to cheer him up. For some reason, he had one very distinct memory… she kissed her middle and index fingers and pressed them against his forehead. It bothered him. He didn’t know who she was, but he missed her terribly. Sometimes, when he was holding a phone, he almost expected to hear her voice…

Then there was a middle aged man with a beard and eyes full of wisdom. For some reason, Reid was in awe of this man, but also felt an overwhelming sense of trust in him. He vaguely remembered a woman’s voice, and being horribly frightened. He remembered opening his eyes and was lying on a sofa, and that man was there to ease his fears. He had been there for him.

Then there was a pretty young blonde. He felt a deep love for this woman, but… not romantically. She was like family… And she had a baby. A little boy. Last night, she had said something… “Hey, Spence.” It confused him. Who was she speaking to? Who was this “Spence”? His name was Alex Wilkes! … Right?

He moved his thoughts to the last woman. Pale complexion, dark brown hair. He felt protective of this woman, but at the same time, protected BY her. She was someone he could talk to, and laugh with… 

The last was the man in his thirties with dark hair and intense eyes. He was always in a suit and tie… never smiled. Reid felt that he and the other people looked up to this man. He was some kind of leader. But for some reason, Reid felt that there were two sides to this man… The one he and the others had always known, and another that only he had known for a short amount of time. He felt connected to this man more than the others. But he didn’t know why. He just felt that out of all of these people, this man meant more to him… This man was very important… He hated not knowing… Who was this man? Where was he? And… what was he to him?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The team walked though the tall dry grass, climbing the hill before them, their breath misting on the chilled evening air.

Large spot lights were already flooding the gravesite with light. Finally, they reached the top of the hill and stared down at what lay sprawled out before them. A mass grave. People swarmed all over. Bodies were still being bagged. A man struggled up the hill towards them.

“BAU?” He asked.

“I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner.” Hotch said, shaking the man’s hands. 

“Agent Pyndus. Call me Monty.”

“Tell us what’s going on?”

“Well… we had a missing person out here.” Monty said. “We had search dogs. They found this.”

“And the missing person?”

“Found her a few miles west. She’s fine.”

“Tell us about the victims here.” 

“… We’ve identified them. All of them.”

“… All of them?”

“… It’s weird.” Monty said, leading the BAU team over to a tent. Inside, was a large board covered with pictures, and two dates beside each. 

“… Oh my God.” Prentiss gasped. “They all look like Reid!”

“We have twenty seven men between the ages of eighteen and thirty.” Monty sighed. “All tall and skinny, brown hair, brown eyes, light complexions. All match missing persons reports from Wyoming, Idaho, Nevada and Utah. One from Colorado. They date back fourteen years. The first date is the date they were reported missing. The second… the estimated time of death.”

“The difference is… months.” JJ breathed, frowning.

“How did you identify them all for sure?” Rossi asked.

“… They uh… they were buried in the clothes they were wearing when they vanished. Everything’s the same. They had their wallets with them… dead cell phones… cash and change. One had a lighter and cigarettes. This one…” He indicated one of the victims, “Had a movie ticket stub from two nights before he was reported missing.”

“So… he abducts them. Keeps them for months. Then kills them and buries them exactly as they were when he found them…?” Prentiss said, slowly.

“How were the bodies positioned?” Morgan asked.

“Face up. Arms crossed over their chests.” Monty said.

“… Respect for the dead. Guilt. Sorrow. Remorse.” Rossi said, frowning.

“Any sign of torture or sexual assault?” Hotch asked.

“None.” Monty said.

“Cause of death?” 

“… This is where it gets weird.” Monty sighed. “They were all holding the murder weapons.”

“… What?” Morgan asked, looking at Monty.

“Each man that we’ve tested so far has the same cause of death. Injection. Our labs confirm that the chemical is what veterinarians use to euthanize animals.”

“And they were holding the syringes they were injected with?” Hotch asked.

“Yeah.”

“You checked for prints?”

“That’s where it gets weirder.” Monty said. “The prints match the next victim.”

“… What?”

“Victim number one was holding a syringe with his DNA on the needle, with the fingerprints of victim number two on it. Victim number two held the needle with victim number three’s prints. And so on and so forth.”

“And the latest victim?” Hotch asked through clenched teeth.

“… The prints on the syringe match your missing agent.” Monty sighed.

“… The shortest time between abduction and death is five months.” JJ said, looking over the board. “Reid has been missing for around three weeks.”

“What is this guy doing with these men?” Morgan sighed. “If he’s not raping or torturing them…?”

“That’s what we have to find out, if we’re going to find Reid.” Hotch growled

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jonathan Wilkes sighed and smiled slightly, watching the young man gallop the horse across the meadow, heading back towards the stable. Paternal pride swelled in him. In a few short weeks, the awkward young man rode like a pro. The boy rode up to him and reined Baron to a halt. The horse snorted and tossed his head, prancing. 

“Good ride, Alex?” Jonathan asked, and the young man grinned, his face flushed by the cold wind.

“Yeah.” He said, sliding down from the beast’s back. Jonathan smiled and clapped Reid on the shoulder. “Put him up. I’ll have dinner ready when you’re done.” He said. Reid nodded and took Baron to the stable. He removed his tack and rubbed him down, fed an watered him and gave him a thorough grooming. Then he checked on all of the mares before heading to the house.

Sure enough, Jonathan had dinner ready. Ah… lasagna by Stouffer’s. Reid grinned and joined the man at the table and ate heartily. The pair talked casually for a bit, but then, Reid asked the question that every Alex asked eventually.

“Dad? What… what was mom like?” Reid asked, frowning. Jonathan sighed and leaned back.

“Ah, Alex… come on out to the living room and we’ll talk.” He said. Reid nodded and put his plate into the sink and followed his “father” out to the living room. He sat down on the sofa, and the kittens followed, hopping up and curling up in his lap. Reid smiled.

“Hi Morgan.” He said to the seal point female. The flame point male hopped up a moment later. “Hi Garcia.” He pet the kittens as they curled up in his lap. Then he looked up at Jonathan.

“Your mother, Emma… She was… the love of my life. She gave me so much. The best thing was… you.” He said with a smile. Reid smiled back slightly. “Your mother was… a lot like you. Shy and quiet. Loved to read. Intelligent. God, she loved you.” He sighed, turning and looking at the framed photo.

“How did she die?” Reid asked, looking at the woman in the picture. Long brown hair, brown eyes… willowy.

“… Pneumonia. She was… always sick after she had you. She almost died bringing you into the world, son. She was always weak after that. And her body just couldn’t fight that illness off…” Jonathan said, softly. “You were six.”

“… I wish I could remember her…” Reid mumbled.

“It will come back, Alex.” Jonathan said. “Anything else?”

“… No. I’ll go grab a sleeping bag and get set up in the stable.” Reid sighed, standing. Jonathan nodded and also stood, going to prepare for bed himself.

Reid dragged the sleeping back out to the stable and laid it out on a thick pile of hay in the loft overlooking Sahara and her new filly. He set up a camping lantern and pulled the kittens out of his pockets. They curled up in the sleeping bag with him. And Reid relaxed, making himself comfortable and opening one of the several books he brought out with him. He opened the first and began to read.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hotch sighed, staring up at the night sky. He had to step away from the evidence. There was so much of it. His mind was spinning. So many smiling faces on that board in there… white skin, dark eyes, brown hair… The twenty seven victims had been joined by a final photo; a smiling picture of Spencer Reid. He glanced at the mass grave, then turned away, shuddering in revulsion at the idea that Spencer could be one of them, even though he knew he wasn’t.

The stars out in the country were amazing. Hotch sighed again, his breath misting on the air. Where was Spencer? Was he okay? Was he scared? Was he warm and safe? Maybe sleeping… or was he crying for help, praying for his team to come find him? Was he being fed where he was? Was he being hurt? Too many questions spun through the man’s head. 

“Aaron.”

He turned. “… Dave.”

“… He’ll be okay. None of the victims have any sign of injury. So far, they’re all in perfect condition, other than being dead. They were well taken care of.” Rossi said. “We’ll find him, Hotch.”

“Agents!” Came a call, and Monty jogged over to them. “We found something.” The BAU team gathered. “All of the victims had hairs on them. We had them analyzed. They’re animal hairs.”

“What kind?” JJ asked.

“A lot. Numerous dogs, cats and horses. A couple of them even had goat and cow hairs. These men have all been around domestic animals and livestock.”

“That confirms it then.” Rossi said. “In combination with the drug they were euthanized with… we’re dealing with a veterinarian.”

“Why would a veterinarian kidnap young men, hold them for months, and then kill them?” Prentiss mused.

“What if he isn’t killing them?” Morgan asked, suddenly. “The fingerprints. The latest victim was killed they think about the same time as Reid went missing. What if this guy is abducting these men, and makes THEM kill the other. And then… they replace him.”

“You mean… what if he is making them kill the men they’re taking over for?” Hotch asked.

“Yeah. What if… what if he made Reid kill the last victim?”

“Why would he do that?” JJ asked.

“Torture them?” Emily offered. “They know what their fate is? To die at the hands of the next victim?”

“He’s sticking to a type.” Rossi said. “We have to find what the significance is. He started this fifteen years ago. We’ve seen cases like this before. What if he lost his own son, and is replacing him with these men? If he had a son in his mid twenties, he would have been in his mid forties. That means that we are looking for a man in his fifties or sixties…”

Morgan was immediately on the phone. “Baby girl, I need you to work me a little magic here.”

“If it will help us find our baby, I’ll be your Mistress of all things Magical.”

“I need you to search records of the death of a man from twenty to thirty years old in Utah, Wyoming or Idaho. Would have happened about fifteen years ago. Father is a veterinarian, probably in his sixties now. He’ll probably resemble Reid.”

“When I know, you’ll know.” Garcia said, and hung up.

“Let’s find a hotel.” Hotch said. “We need to get some rest.”

“Hotch… we have too much to do.” Morgan protested.

“We won’t do Reid any good if we burn ourselves out.” Hotch said. “Let’s go.”


	3. Chapter 3

Reid gasped when he felt hands running over his body. They were big, strong and firm, but so gentle… They were male hands. He was sure of that. Then there was hot breath on his neck… a kiss at his throat. Then lips fluttered against his ear.

“Come on, baby…” Tongue and teeth briefly teased his ear lobe. “Let me in…” Then the lips moved and gently pressed against his own. Reid moaned as he felt the other’s tongue slip into his mouth as hips wedged themselves between his legs.

He tried to open his eyes… tried to see this man. But he couldn’t. It frustrated him. Who was this man?! He knew him… he knew he did! And he wanted answers, dammit! His first thought was that it was the one who called him ‘Pretty Boy’. But the voice wasn’t the same…

“… Relax…” Came the gruff command again, and then Reid felt something slide into his body. Fingers stroked his inner walls, stretching him… preparing him for more. His heart pounded… it felt familiar. It felt good. But it was also startling. He didn’t know THIS about himself! But he hadn’t really given a lot of thought to his sexuality, either. This answered that unasked question…

Another kiss pressed to his mouth and the fingers left. 

“… Let me in…”

And then he felt his body stretching around the intrusion of something long and hard. A loud groan escaped his lips and he heard the other moan as well. A hand caressed his face… fingers combed through his hair. Kisses littered his face and neck. The rocking motion began as the man began to slowly piston his hips, moving in and out of Reid’s body.

The young man groaned loudly, arching his back and clinging to this man he was so intimate with…

“Come on, baby…” The voice purred, thick and husky. “I love you…” Reid whimpered at that…

“… Who are you?” He pleaded softly, writhing at the physical pleasure. “Please… I want to remember...” He ran his hand up the man’s chest. He wore a chain around his neck, with a ring hanging from it. Reid suddenly recognized a weight on his own chest. He felt it… a ring on a chain. Just like his lover… “Who are you?” He asked again.

“I’m here for you…” The voice murmured into his ear. “I’ll never leave you. I love you.” Then a harsh stab against his prostate.

Reid jerked and cried out, eyes snapping open as he jerked awake. He stared at the stable ceiling and felt his body tremble. The burning desire still pulsed in his veins like fire… He moaned loudly, squirming and fighting with the zipper of the sleeping bag. He managed to unzip it and toss it and the extra blankets aside, savoring the cool air drying the sweat on his hot body. He groaned, running his hands over his face, wiping away the sweat that was there. But God... the pressure was impossible to ignore. 

Moaning, Reid ran his hands down his body, hissing and arching his back when the fabric of his shirt scraped over his nipples which were hard and sensitive with the lust overtaking his body… He squirmed and then wrestled his shirt off, running his hands over his body again. He paused and moaned, playing with his nipples for a moment before sliding his hands down his torso, finally coming to his pajama pants. His erection strained inside, longing to break free from the confining fabric.

Reid pulled the string on his pants and the knot fell undone. Then he slid his hands down his waist, thumbs hooking under the waistline of his pants. His hands continued down his hips and thighs, taking the garment with them. He dragged his fingers up his thighs and abdomen, then up his own chest and neck. He ran them up his face and ran his fingers through his hair, arching and groaning into the darkness of the stable. A horse snorted and stomped somewhere below.

His pale hands moved down his even paler body, running over his flat stomach and prominent hip bones… down his thighs, and then sliding back up his inner thighs… Then, with a keening moan, he slid one hand up his chest again while the other curled around his straining erection.

Flint snorted and tossed his head at the breathy moans coming from up in the loft as Reid arched his back and pumped his erection. He could almost feel soft lips on his own. They parted in another moan. But this time, it a word… Reid was startled to hear a name pass his own lips…

“Aaron…” 

He stopped and blinked his eyes open, staring at the ceiling again. Aaron… God… that name made him shiver… it felt so right on his tongue… 

“Aaron…” He moaned again, and a shiver passed though his frame. He writhed on the sleeping bag in the hay firmly stroking his erection, his fingers growing moist with his pre-ejaculatory fluids.

 

“God…” Reid groaned into the cold air. He lifted his hips, sliding his other hand down his body. He only hesitated for a moment before dropping his hand between his legs and sliding two fingers into his own body. He groaned loudly at that, thrashing slightly as he moved his fingers in and out, pressing deeper each time. Then, his fingertips brushed against his prostate and his body was flooded with euphoria.

“AH!! GOD!” He cried, whipping his head back as a strained sob escaped his chest. He sucked in his breath and gave himself a firm stroke as he jabbed his fingers into his prostate again. He arched his back and cried out into the dark as he was overcome by his orgasm.

Flint neighed a response to Reid’s cry of bliss, but the boy didn’t hear it. He fell down to the hay, limp, and curled up onto his side. He gasped for breath, staring at his hand covered in his own semen. Confused as to why, he began to remember a taste… Curious, he began lick his hand clean. It was a familiar taste… but different from the one he remembered. He knew that the taste he was thinking of must not be the taste of his own fluids… but that of the other man… Aaron… He dragged the blankets back over himself, not bothering to pull his pant back up again… he just left them around his knees. He sighed into the dark and closed his eyes, sated. 

Within moments, he had drifted into sleep where he was held in warm, loving arms…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rossi slowly awoke and opened his eyes. He winced. The light was on. Groggy, he rolled over. Hotch was out on the balcony of their small hotel room. Rossi sat up.

“… Aaron?”

“Dave.” Hotch said, turning. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

“… Maybe. It’s three am.”

“… I know.”

“You can’t sleep?”

“… Haven’t been sleeping well since Reid went missing.” Hotch admitted. “Now it’s worse.”

“You’re worried about him, Aaron. That’s normal. We’re all worried.”

“Dave…”

“I know. For you, it’s different. You’re his superior. And his lover. Double whammy.”

Hotch sighed and closed the door, sitting down on his bed.

“Aaron. You need to sleep. You have to be at your best to help Reid.”

“… I know. But when I close my eyes, all I can see is…”

“Reid suffering.” Rossi finished for him.

“… Yeah. I see the videos of him being tortures by Tobias Hankel… I see him being hit by Phillip Dowd… I see him lying on the floor after being beaten and raped by Shane Harvey… I see him lying on the floor in my front hall, wet and bloody and scared, being chased by four armed men…” (AN: for those last two, see ‘Anything For You’ and ‘First Impressions’)

“Aaron. We’ve gotten the coroner’s reports. Other than kidnapping and killing them, this guy took care of his victims. Wherever Reid is, I don’t think he’s hurt.” Rossi said. “Wherever he is, he’s probably sleeping, warm in bed. And knowing that, you should be able to do the same. For the sake of getting him home.” Hotch looked at Rossi, then sighed and nodded. He turned out the light, lay down and closed his eyes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Reid awoke with a thick yawn, slowly stretching his body with a groan. He blinked his eyes open, rubbing them with a fist, then slowly sat up. He peered down into the stalls below. Sahara and her filly were fine. He smiled. Then, the two kittens popped out of his sleeping bag, meowing. They were hungry. He scratched their ears and wormed his way out of the sleeping bag. Shivering in the cold air, he pulled his pants up and tugged on his shirt. Then he gathered everything, climbed out of the loft and headed for the house. He glanced at the sun; he had slept in.

“Morning, Alex.” Jonathan said when he came in.

“Morning.” Reid yawned.

“Go get showered and dressed. I’ll have coffee ready in a minute.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Reid said, filling the kittens’ dishes. Morgan and Garcia dove into their breakfast right away. Reid went to his room, stripped and climbed into the shower, quickly bathing and shaving. When he was done he toweled himself dry, dressed, and went to the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee, dumped the usual large amount of sugar into it, then sat down to breakfast with his “father”. It was eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“… Do you know a man named… Aaron?”

“… No. Can’t say I… wait. Yeah!” He said, blinking. Reid looked up, eagerly. “Aaron Burke! He has a Golden Retriever, Delilah. Nice man. His wife, too. Karla. They’re grandparents now, last I heard.”

“… Oh.” Reid grumbled, drooping. Jonathan eyed him, then just shrugged it off. 

“Take your time eating. I’ll clean up while you exercise Baron.”

“Okay.” Reid said, and shoveled hash browns into his mouth. He finished quickly, then went out to the stable. Within ten minutes he was riding Baron into the trail in the woods. He sighed and thought long and had about his dream last night. One reason that he liked these rides so much was that it gave him time to do this… to think and reflect. Other than sleeping, more memories, or what he thought were memories, came to him during his rides with Baron. Right now, he wanted to remember Aaron. Whoever he was…

He knew that it wasn’t just a dream. Aaron had to be real. He frowned. But… if Aaron were real… if they were lovers… why didn’t his father tell him? Why was it that every memory he had, his father knew nothing about. But the man could tell him everything about his life, but HE couldn’t remember anything?! He remembered those six people… he remember this Aaron. But he had no memory of this house Jonathan said he had grown up in… He couldn’t remember his mother… his father. The horses he cared for every day… He seemed to have an amazing memory for facts and figures. Hell, he could quote books cover to cover. But he couldn’t remember what had been in his father’s veterinary medicine books… he’d had to read them after the accident. 

But so much of it had been so new to him… he could tell someone that the largest rodent in the world was the Capybara, which lived in the Amazon… and was a favorite prey of the largest snake in the world, the Anaconda. He could tell you that while some snakes laid eggs, other snakes (like the Anaconda) gave birth to live young. The most aggressive snake in the world was the Black Mamba and the snake with the deadliest venom was the Banded Sea Krait.

He could tell you that the most poisonous spider in the world was actually the Daddy Long Legs, but its fangs were too small to bite people with, so they were no danger to people.

He could tell you that the DNA of humans and chimpanzees were 99% the same…

He could tell you that the bird with the largest vocabulary was the African Gray Parrot.

But now he could tell someone that while official reports said that the breed with the most reported bite incidents were pit bulls, in truth the worst biter in the dog world was the Chihuahua, but because the dog is so small, no one bothers to report bite incidents involving them. 

Now he could also tell you that Pugs, Dachshunds, Chihuahuas, Boston Terriers and Miniature Pinchers were the most common breeds to experience allergic reactions to vaccinations.

Now he could tell you that Labrador Retrievers were the most likely dog to be abandoned because most owners got them without knowing how much work and attention they required, often resulting in the dog becoming destructive our of boredom or too much for the owner to handle because they weren’t willing to take the time to exercise or train the dog.

Now he could tell you that white Boxers were exponentially more likely than other Boxers to be blind, deaf, and develop serious health problems.

Surely he would have remembered these things if he had read his father’s books. And surely he HAD read them before! Hadn’t he?

And that was when the stirrings of doubt began…

Could it be that he wasn’t who his father said he was?

Could it be that the man wasn’t really his father?

If he wasn’t… then why was he pretending to be?

They reached the pond and Reid dismounted. He let Baron nibble at the spring grass, and he moved down to the water’s edge. Slowly, he knelt and stared at his reflection in the water. He studied himself. Slowly, he frowned.

“… Who am I?” He whispered. His reflection was silent as ever…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Later that day, Reid was in the Vet Hospital. Morgan and Garcia were wrestling around on the floor by his feet. Reid opened the fridge and pulled out several vials. FVRCP, FeLV. Feline Distemper combination vaccination, and Feline Leukemia vaccine. His pets were ready for their boosters. He went over to the sink and washed his hands, then lined up the syringes he would need. Then he picked up a couple of vials. In that moment, he glanced up at himself in the mirror. And then, his mind was assaulted.

He was in a bathroom. He looked pale and scared. On edge. He had a leather messenger bag on his shoulder. His heart pounding, he made sure that the bathroom was empty, then locked the door and moved to the counters, staring at himself. He set down a cup of coffee, then fumbled desperately in the bag, pulling out two vials of clear liquid… And then the sudden desire overwhelmed him… To fill a syringe with the liquid… inject it into his own veins.

Reid jerked, then groaned and slowly fell to his knees on the floor, the vaccines rolling away from him.

“… Dilaudid.” He gasped out. Then, he was assaulted by something else entirely. Something that made him break into a cold sweat. 

He was handcuffed, sitting in a chair in a small wooden shack. A foul smell permeated the air… he was cold… scared… in pain. The door opened and a man walked in. He was holding a skinned carcass.

“You need to eat.” The man said, putting the bloody mass down on a table and removing his gloves.

Reid looked at the man, then asked, “What’s your name?” 

The man gave him a shy and confused smile. “… Tobias.”

“Who was here before?”

“Probably my father.” Tobias said. He looked Reid over. “I’m sorry if he hurt you”. Then he quickly crossed the room, removing his belt.

“What are you doing?” Reid heard himself ask. 

Tobias said nothing, kneeling and wrapping the belt around Reid’s right bicep.

“No… Don’t… Please don’t.” He whimpered.

“It helps.” The man said, pulling out a syringe and a small bottle… one of the bottles from the other memory. “Don’t tell my father. He doesn’t know they’re here.”

Reid’s breathing was fast… frightened. “Please… I… I don’t want it! I don’t want it! Please…!” He begged.

“Trust me. It helps.” Tobias said, exposing the inside of Reid’s elbow and locating a vein. “I know.”

“Please don’t!” Reid pleaded once more as the needle slid into his vein. Then… a feeling of ecstasy flooded through him…

Reid gasped and jerked out of the memory. He sat on the floor of the clinic, leaning against the wall. He was gasping for breath and covered in sweat. It was a long time before he managed to get to his feet. With shaking hands, he gathered up the vaccines, prepared them, and administered them to the kittens. Then he hurried to the office and sat down, turning on the computer.

He pulled up the search engine and typed in one word. Dilaudid.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The team stood over the table, staring at the evidence, as if hoping that one of the photos would suddenly speak and tell them where their missing teammate was.

Morgan’s phone rang and he set it out on the table. “You’re on speaker, baby girl.”

“I’ve got something.” Garcia said, quickly. “Dr. Jonathan Wilkes, DVM. He lives out in rural Wyoming.”

“What about him, Garcia?” Hotch asked.

“Almost fifteen years ago, he lost his twenty three year old son, Alexander Wilkes. He was thrown from a horse and broke his neck. A year later, the first vic went missing. On the anniversary of Alexander’s death. JJ, I just sent a picture of the guy to your phone.”

JJ blinked and flicked it open. 

“Oh my God…” She gasped, and showed the others. “He looks like Reid!”

“And Jonathan Wilkes probably has Reid.” Rossi said. 

“Good work, Garcia.” Hotch called.

“I just sent you his address, now get going! Bring him home!” Garcia gasped, then hung up.

No one said a word. They all just headed for the cars.


	4. Chapter 4

“This is it.” JJ gasped. The cars turned onto the long dirt drive off of the road. There was a large sign.

VETERINARY CLINIC

Dr. Jonathan Wilkes, DVM

On top of the sign was a work of iron, showing the silhouettes of a dog, a cat, a pig, a cow, a horse, a goat and a rooster.

They passed the sign and focused on the road. They rounded a curve and the small farm was laid out before them. A veterinary clinic was attached to a large stable. And several yards away from that was the little house. The lights in the clinic were off. The lights in the house were on. There was also a light in the stable. The cars stopped and the group got out.

“… It’s pretty.” Emily commented, looking over the place. It was glowing gold in the light of the setting sun. They all turned when a man walked around the corner of the house, leading a large dappled gray.

The horse snorted and tossed his head, then screamed a challenge to the intruders. The man blinked and looked up, then frowned. He quickly led the horse towards the stable. The Agent all approached him.

“Stay back!” The man called. “Flint doesn’t like strangers! I’ll be right out!” He went into the stable. A moment later, the horse poked his head out the window of his stall and the man walked out of the stable.

“Good evening.” He said, heading over and inspecting them. “What can I do you for?”

“Jonathan Wilkes?” Rossi asked.

“… Yeah.”

“I’m Agent Hotchner.” Hotch said, stepping forward and flashing his badge. A look of shock and surprise crossed the man’s face. Then a slight look of fear. “We’re looking into a series of kidnappings and murders.”

“Oh… I… I see… I don’t know what would have led you out here…” The man said, licking his dry lips. He glanced towards the tree line across the field.

“… You have a son named Alexander?” Rossi asked. The man seemed to go pale.

“I… Y-Yes…” He said, slowly.

“… Where is he?”

“… He… He’s not here.” The man said softly. 

“Where is he?” Morgan repeated.

“He’s… He’s out exercising Baron…”

“Really.” Emily said, cocking her head. “Our sources tell us that he died fifteen years ago.”

“He… What? No… No, I’m sorry. You must be mistaken.” 

“Mind if we look around?” Hotch asked.

“I would prefer it if you didn’t… but…” The stammered, then frowned. “Come back with a warrant.” 

“… Guys…” JJ gasped, suddenly. They all looked at her. She was looking towards the tree line. They all looked. Jonathan Wilkes made a strange noise.

A horse was loping out of the trees bearing a tall, lean rider. They circled the paddock, ignoring the challenging neigh from Flint, and headed towards the group. The horse slowed to a halt several yards away. The young man stared in confused shock at the people with his father. And they stared back.

“… Spence!” Cried the blonde.

“Wait.” Rossi hissed. “Something’s wrong. Look at his face.”

“Dad?” Reid called, looking nervous.

“Put Baron up, son.” The man called in a dry, worried tone. But Reid didn’t. He guided the horse over to the group, staring down at them.

“Dad. It’s them.” He gasped. Jonathan moved forward and placed a hand on Reid’s knee. “The people I’ve been dreaming about.”

“Put Baron up, Alex.” The man said, softly.

“Reid.” Hotch said, firmly. The boy blinked, looking startled. He frowned and they watched his lips move slightly as he silently repeated the name that the man had just called him by.

“… He doesn’t know us.” Emily gasped. Reid eyed the horrified looks on the faces of the people before him.

“Son. Go.” Jonathan said, firmly. Reid frowned, then turned and guided the horse towards the stable. He looked back over his shoulder at the group, curiously.

Jonathan then looked at the Agents. “Please…” He said, softly. “He doesn’t understand. Let me explain it to him. This will only upset him.”

“… What did you do to him?!” Morgan demanded, his eyes full of fury.

“… He… He crashed his car. Hit his head. He looks so much like my Alex. I knew I shouldn’t have… I know… But… but I couldn’t help it. And… I took him home. He doesn’t remember. He has amnesia. I’m all he knows. Please.” Jonathan begged, tears streaming down his face. “Just five minutes. Let me break it to him. I… I’m all he knows.” 

The team stared at him in horrified disgust.

“He had amnesia, so you decided to make him something he’s not?!” Morgan blurted. Hotch grabbed his shoulder and the group huddled.

“He’s lying.” Hotch said. “If Reid has amnesia, he caused it. He forced Reid off of the road and injected him. All the other bodies. This was premeditated.”

“But if Reid DOES have amnesia…” Rossi said, slowly. “And Wilkes is all he knows…”

“His mind is fragile.” Emily said. “We’ll have to be careful.”

“We should let Wilkes tell him.” Rossi said. “Coming from us… it might break him.” Everyone was silent. “Okay.” Rossi sighed, and they all looked at Wilkes. “You have five minutes.” He said. Wilkes nodded.

“Thank you…” He gasped. Then, he frowned. “I… What do I say?” He looked pleadingly at the Agents. They all looked surprised by this. Then, Hotch stepped forward.

“Take it easy. First, apologize. Tell him that you’ve been lying to him, and that he’s not who you said he is. Don’t say that you’re not his father or he’s not your son. That will upset him. Just… Tell him who he is. Tell him that his name is Spencer Reid. Tell him that he works for the FBI and that when you realized he had amnesia, combined with his resemblance to your son, you made a mistake and tried to take your son back through him. Tell him that we are his friends and co workers and that we care about him and we are here to help him. And tell him that you want to do the right thing and help him remember the truth. And ask if he can ever forgive you.” Jonathan nodded.

“… Okay.” He gasped, and rubbed his face. “Okay…” He looked at the Agents for a moment, then turned and walked towards the stable.

“Shouldn’t we go with him?” JJ asked.

“No. Our presence would only upset Reid…” Rossi said.

Jonathan trudge towards the stable and stepped in.

“Alex?”

“Dad! What’s going on?! Who are they?” Reid asked, excitedly. “I know them! I knew it!”

“Son…” Jonathan sighed. “They’re FBI.”

“… FBI? Why would I know FBI Agents?” Reid asked.

“Son. I hoped that I wouldn’t have to tell you this. I hoped that they wouldn’t find you. I hoped that with your amnesia… everything would be okay.”

“What do you mean?” Reid asked.

“Alex… They’re here for you.”

“For me?” Reid breathed, now looking terrified. “I.. Did I… do something?”

“… I’m afraid so.”

“… What did I do?” Reid whimpered.

“… You killed a lot of people.” Jonathan whispered. He watched as Reid’s face went white and he slowly leaned against the wall, stunned.

“They’re here to arrest me?”

“… Yes.” Jonathan said. “You’re to be tried on multiple counts of murder. They’re seeking the death penalty.” He stepped closer. “But I won’t let them. You’re all I have, Alex.” And he hugged Reid tightly. Reid sniffled and hugged him back, trembling.

“What can you do?” He asked the man.

“We’re going to run.” Jonathan said. “Saddle Baron up again. I’ll be right back.” And he ran across the stable and slipped into the clinic. Reid blinked, then did as he was told, saddling the confused horse with shaky hands. Jonathan returned and saddled Flint. He swung himself up into the saddle and Reid mounted Baron.

“Dad… are you sure?”

“I won’t lose you.” The man hissed. “Stay close, son.” Reid nodded. The man reached out and shoved the door to the stable open and dug his heels into Flint’s sides. The stallion bugled and charged out of the stable. Reid kicked Baron sharply. The gelding neighed an answer to Flint and leapt after him. The FBI Agents shouted in alarm, diving out of the paths of the large beasts and their sharp hooves.

“SPENCE!!!” Reid heard the blonde cry, followed by several shouts of “REID!!!”

His mind spun. It hurt. Those voices were so familiar. But they weren’t frightening. What was frightening was that he found himself longing to turn and ride back to give himself up to them… For some reason, he felt that he would be safe with them… But he shoved that thought down and concentrated on keeping up with Flint and his father. They fled down the main drive and out onto the road. Then, a cry escaped Reid’s lips.

“I left Morgan and Garcia!!!” He cried, twisting around and looking back at the house, heart clenching at the thought of his kittens being left behind.

“I’ll go back for them!” Jonathan shouted. “Just keep up!”

“… They’re coming!” Reid cried, and Baron now raced neck and neck with Flint. A moment later, they heard the roar of an engine and headlights flooded the road before them. Blue and Red lights were flashing and a siren wailed.

“When we reach the bottom of the valley, we take shelter in the trees!” Jonathan called to Reid.

“Okay!” Reid responded, and they spurred their mounts faster.

“PULL OVER!” Came a voice behind them from over a bullhorn. In the car, Morgan snorted and glanced back at the man with the bullhorn.

“Ever been in a chase with horses before, Rossi?” He asked, amused at the fact that their suspect and hostage were fleeing the scene on horseback, despite it all.

“This is a first.” Rossi admitted from the back seat.

“Where did Reid learn to ride like that?!” Morgan demanded to know.

“Hell if I know!” Hotch snorted from the passenger seat.

“Probably here with Wilkes.” Rossi said, shrugging.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

JJ and Emily went through the house like a whirlwind. They had found nothing incriminating so far… They found Wilkes’ room. And they found Alex’s room. They knew that recently it was Reid’s room. Books were everywhere.

“Awww… Emily cooed suddenly. “Look! Reid has kittens!” JJ blinked and walked over. Reid had pets? Sure enough, in a little pet bed were two kittens. They stared up at the woman with big blue eyes.

“Oh my God.” JJ gasped, staring at the tags on their collars. “Emily. Look at what he named them!”

“… That’s good, right?” Emily asked. “Let’s go check out the clinic.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hotch blinked when his phone rang. He opened it and put it on speaker. “What did you find, JJ?”

“We’re on conference with Garcia.” JJ let them know. “But we searched Wilkes’ office in the clinic. And we found his journals. This guy did all he could to turn all the boys he kidnapped into his son. He’s been kidnapping them and… well… Basically in chemically induces amnesia.” 

“Son of a bitch…” Morgan hissed.

“Then,” JJ continued, “he tells them that they were thrown by Flint. Flint is the gray horse that he rode out of here on, Hotch. And Flint is the horse that killed his son. But anyway, Wilkes molds them. He turns them into Alex. They wear his clothes, sleep in his room in his bed… He make them believe that they ARE Alex.”

“But the amnesia is temporary. Eventually, their memories come back. Usually it takes a few months. When they realize the truth… he kidnaps another boy and forces this new Alex to draw up the chemical in the syringe used to kill the old one. They don’t know they’re doing it. They’re basically in a drug induced haze. None of them remember their role in killing their predecessor.

“Now… here’s the really scary part… Reid has only been with him for about a month. But he’s already getting his memories back. Wilkes was writing in his journals that he anticipated having to kill Reid within the next few weeks. He was already making the preparations. But he also writes that this would be the hardest one by far. He likes THIS Alex, Reid, the best. But there was nothing he could do. It usually took the boys two months to start remembering things and asking questions. But Reid started asking questions about bits of his memories by week two.

They hear JJ sigh. “Wilkes recorded the things that Reid told him… he’s been dreaming, Hotch. About us. He described us all, but he can’t remember our names or who we are. But the memories are there. He… he has a pair of kittens here. Siamese. Hotch, he named them Morgan and Garcia.”

Morgan glanced at the phone, raising an eyebrow, and they heard Garcia sniffle.

“Awww… my poor baby!” She cooed. “He misses me even when he can’t remember me!”

“Guys!” They heard Emily call. “Out in the main area of the clinic, things are a mess. Wilkes was in there and left in a hurry. He took some syringes with him, I think. It looks like he filled them with Telazol and Euthasol.”

“What the hell is Telazol?” Rossi asked. They heard Garcia typing.

“It’s a sedative.” She said. “Causes muscle paralysis and can induce hallucinations. Vets use it when they have to sedate an animal but don’t want to put it completely under. Makes them take a nap. And Euthasol is, well... you can probably guess..."

“… We have to assume that anything in those needles he is prepared to use on Reid.” Hotch frowned, staring at the men on horseback in front of the car. “Rossi. Do you think you can shoot Wilkes and not hit Reid?”

“… I can try.” Rossi said, slowly.

They reached the bottom of a hill. Suddenly, the horses swerved. They headed across the grassy shoulder of the road, strait for the fence.

“No… No!” Morgan gasped. They watched the horses gather themselves, and then powerful hindquarters surged, propelling them up into the air. Their bodies soared gracefully over the fence an they landed in a run. Reid faltered… He momentarily lost his balance. But he gathered a handful of Baron’s black mane and pulled himself up straight again. Tires squealed. Headlights illuminated the riders for a few moments before they disappeared into the trees…

Morgan slammed his hands down on the steering wheel.

“DAMMIT!!!”

Jonathan Wilkes and Spencer Reid were gone…


	5. Chapter 5

Reid shivered and looked up at the moon, then down at the man on the horse before him.

“… Dad?” He called.

“Yes, Alex?”

“… Where are we going to go?”

“I don’t know, son.” The man sighed. “For now, we’re going to just hide here in the woods.” A few minutes later, he reined Flint to a halt.

“… Is that a hunting screen?” Reid asked, looking up at the small hut in a tree.

“Yep.” Jonathan said, and dismounted. Reid blinked and did the same. “Up you go, Alex.” Reid blinked and climbed up into the thing. It was small… really only room for one…

Suddenly, an arm wrapped around him, forcibly, and then there was a sharp pain in the side of his neck. Reid gasped and thrashed. But Jonathan pinned him down. Within seconds, Reid’s struggles weakened.

“I’m sorry, son…” Jonathan gasped out. He removed the large coil of rope slung over his shoulder. He bound Reid’s wrists behind him, looping the end of the rope around his neck so that if he struggled, he would strangle himself. Then he coiled the long length down Reid’s body, wrapping it around his upper arms, pinning them to his body. The rope spiraled down his body and around his legs. He coiled it several times around Reid’s thighs, then against just below his knees, and then his ankles. With the final length of rope, he linked Reid’s wrists and ankles. Then he gagged the boy with his own scarf. 

Jonathan sighed and gently stroked Reid’s hair, leaning over and kissing his forehead. “I’m so sorry, son. Don’t worry. It’s gonna be okay… I’m gonna fix everything.” He climbed down to the ground and tied Flint to the tree, then mounted Baron. Then he turned and rode away, leaving Reid sedated in the dark.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“What do we do now?” JJ asked, looking at Hotch when the man walked up to her.

“We get a search party together. Talk to the locals.” The man said. “And we find Reid.” Within two hours, the farm was crawling with Police and FBI. 

Suddenly, a radio crackled to life.

“Got a rider heading across the field!” 

The Agents moved. Their hearts were pounding. It was the bay… but the rider wasn’t Reid. Halfway across the field the rider stopped. He had seen the activity. He turned the horse and headed back the way he came, but it was too late. Officers had surrounded him.

“Get off the horse!!!” Morgan shouted, running across the grass. Jonathan stared around, wildly.

“Please! I just… I just came to get something!” The man cried.

“I don’t think so, man, get off the horse!” Morgan ordered. Jonathan looked panicked at all of the guns, and Baron snorted and pranced, nervously.

“Where is he, Wilkes?!” Hotch shouted.

“… I won’t tell you.” The man gasped. “Just let me have his cats. I’ll take care of him.”

“He’s already remembering, Wilkes.” Rossi said, walking closer. “You can’t fool him. Reid is brilliant. You know it. You wrote it in your journals. We know perfectly well that if we let you go, you’ll kill him.”

“… If you don’t let me go he’ll die sooner.” Jonathan gasped.

“Let me tell you something.” Morgan snapped. “What did he name those cats, huh?! My name is Derek Morgan. Another of our team is Penelope Garcia. Morgan and Garcia. He’s remembering. Now where is he?!”

“… I won’t tell you.” Jonathan hissed, then turned and horse and kicked it. Shots rang out. The horse screamed and reared back, then crashed to the ground. Jonathan howled in pain and law enforcement swarmed in. They jerked him to his feet and he yelped, buckling on his twisted ankle. Baron got to his feet and stood there, trembling, blood running down his side.

“Baron!” Jonathan cried, and tried to get to the horse.

“We’ll have him seen to.” Morgan snarled. “But YOU are coming with us right now.”

An hour later Jonathan found himself sitting in an interrogation room.

“We have minimal forensic evidence…” The sheriff said, frowning.

“We don’t need it.” Hotch said. “There’s enough to make the circumstantial evidence rock solid. We have twenty seven victims, each holding the syringe that was used to murder them with the next victim’s prints on it. The latest victim held a syringe with Reid’s prints on it, and Wilkes had Reid. The victims all resemble his son who died exactly a year before the first abduction. I guarantee a conviction. And once we have Reid’s testimony…”

“IF we can find him alive.” The sheriff snorted. The BAU team leveled cold glares on the man.

“We’ll find him.” Hotch said. “Morgan and I are going to head up the search back at the farm. Rossi and Prentiss, I want you to try to get a confession from Wilkes, and see if you can get him to spill Reid’s location.”

Rossi nodded, then turned and headed into the interrogation room. Wilkes looked at him, nervously.

“You’ve uh… you’ve had it rough, Jonathan.” He said, sitting down. “Your… wife died… then your son… killed by your prize stallion.” Jonathan Wilkes stared hard at he table. “I’m sorry.” Rossi continued. “No man should go through what you have gone through.”

“… No man should have to bury his son…” Jonathan gasped.

“You’re right.” Rossi agreed. “But now, twenty seven mothers and twenty seven fathers will have to do just that.” Jonathan winced.

“Alex was all I had.” He gasped.

“… And Spencer Reid has a mother. And he is all SHE has. Where is he?”

“… Don’t do this.” Jonathan gasped, his face haunted with guilt.

“Reid wrote letters to his mother every day. She’s sick, you know. In a hospital. She lives there. Her only contact with the outside world are the letters from her son. Letters that suddenly stopped a month ago. He was going to visit her, you know. She was expecting him. Waiting for him. And he never showed.”

“Shut up!” Jonathan cried.

“Her son disappeared! And was taken by a man who tried to turn him into someone else! And when he couldn’t fulfill that fantasy, he was going to die! And his mother would never know what happened to her son… Just like her husband.”

“What?”

“His father left them when he was ten. Diana Reid is just like you. Lost her husband… and now may lose her child. At least you have your work. She doesn’t even have this. She will spend the rest of her life remembering. And grieving.” Rossi hissed. “Do you want someone to suffer as you suffered?!”

“NO!”

“WHERE IS REID?!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Reid groaned. He was cold… so cold. It was dark… His head spun, and his body ached. What happened?

He heard the wind, and the soft rattling of trees. Blinking his eyes open, the moonlight revealed that he was in the little hunters’ hutch. He tried to move. But he was bound tightly. Any struggling cut off his breath. His body ached, but he could do nothing about it… He couldn’t even call out for help! 

A snort and stomp below him…

One of the horses was still there. Why would his father do this?! Inject him and leave him tied up in the cold… Reid frowned. Unless… he wasn’t his father.

Suddenly, he felt hands on the sides of his head, and he heard a woman’s voice.

“Your mind… such a treasure…”

Reid shook his head, slightly. That voice… so familiar. It filled him with so many feelings. Love. Joy. 

Guilt…

He thought back to the FBI Agents… And now he regretted running from them. Why had he run?

Oh… Oh no… That’s right… he was a murderer. He had killed someone. But who?!

Suddenly, flashes. Reid cried out into the night.

A man with dark hair lifting an automatic weapon at the FBI Agent called Hotch. And then there was a gun in his hands. He pulled the trigger. And the man went down.

He was kneeling in the dirt, holding a revolver. The man from one of his flashbacks, Tobias, stood there with a knife. “Only one bullet in that gun, boy.” He said, and moved forwards. And the shot rang out. And Tobias fell.

“NO!” Reid cried into the gag. He had killed them! But then, there was another memory. A man. And Reid felt… affection for this man. Admiration… A need to please him…

“You did what you had to do. A lot of good people are alive because of what you did… I’m proud of you.” The man said. And the memory of those words soothed Reid’s soul.

His mind spun. These memories… If he was Alexander Wilkes… he shouldn’t have them. But he had them. So… he was not Alexander Wilkes. 

And now, there was only one thought in his mind.

Who am I?

Then, he remembered the Agents.

Reid… 

Spence…

Spencer!

He rolled it over in his mind. Spencer Reid. Spencer Reid.

Doctor.

He blinked.

Dr. Spencer Reid.

“Do you know why he always introduces me as Doctor Reid?” He heard himself ask.

Hotch responded. “Because he knows that people see you as a kid and he wants to make sure that they respect you.”

Reid sighed. That’s who he was. Dr. Spencer Reid. Now, he was finally getting answers. The question now was… would he live to get more?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hotch stared to the east. The sun was just peeking over the horizon. JJ emerged from Jonathan Wilkes’ house.

“Here.” She said, handing him a cup of coffee.

“Thank you.” Hotch said.

“And… this is for Spence.” She handed him a canteen. “Hot coffee. Extra sugar. If he’s out here, he’s gonna be freezing.” Hotch blinked, then smiled. Then he saw her jacket move. A moment later, a kitten poked its head out of it and meowed. Hotch blinked.

“Taking care of them, I see?” He said, smiling slightly. 

“I’ve been going over Wilkes’ journals regarding Reid. He says that Reid adopted them and… well… dotes on them like a loving parent. I’m taking care of them for him. I think that he’ll take them home with him when we get him back.”

“… Maybe.” Hotch said, then sighed. “Anything in those journals about where he may have taken Reid?”

“… No. I mean… anywhere. According to his journals and photos, he’s hunted these woods his whole life. He knows them like the back of his hand.”

“That’s why we have locals helping us.” Hotch said. “They’ll know these woods.”

“Hotch…” 

“Yeah?”

“You can’t trek through the woods like that.” JJ said. And the man blinked. “… Come on.” JJ tugged him into the house and went to Jonathan’s bedroom, then returned a moment later. “Here. Get changed. You and Wilkes are about the same size.”

Hotch blinked at the jeans and sweater, then sighed and smiled.

“Okay.” He said, and took the clothes to the bathroom and changed out of his suit. When he came out, JJ was standing there with two pairs of hiking boots.

“See if these fit.” She said. Hotch eyed them, then grabbed a pair and pulled them on.

“A bit big, but they’ll work.” He said, then polished off his coffee. “Thanks JJ.” He looked at the woman, and she smiled. “What would we do without you?”

“I shudder to think.” She laughed. “Now go find Reid.” Hotch nodded and went outside. The farm was swarming with FBI, police, and local volunteers, many of them looking shocked and amazed, but morbidly fascinated. The local vet was a serial killer!

“Okay! I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner, Unit Chief with the BAU of the FBI. In other words, I’m the guy in charge.” He called. There were chuckles in the crowd. “Everyone has received and understands all the instructions?” Affirmative shouts. 

“Okay! Each team has been assigned an officer or an Agent. This is your team leader. But we’re counting on YOU to guide us because you know the area. You’ve all seen the photo of the man we’re looking for?” More affirmative calls. 

“Okay. His name is Dr. Spencer Reid and he is with the FBI. But this is important. He has amnesia, and believes that he is Alexander Wilkes. However, his memory may be coming back. While we search, I want you to call for him by BOTH of these names. Understand?” He sighed at the response. “Alright then. Let’s move out!”

Morgan clapped Hotch on the shoulder, and the large group of people split into organized chaos, heading into the woods in the direction that Wilkes had come from when they caught him. They searched all day. Shouts rose from the trees.

“Alex!” 

“Dr. Reid?!”

“Spencer!”

“Alex Wilkes!”

“Agent Reid!”

“Spencer Reid!”

“Alexander?!”

But there were no answers to any of the calls…

Night fell. And the search was called off. A cold wind blew. Colder than the previous night.

Hotch and Morgan watched, tired and frustrated, as the searchers all departed for home, but all promising to return in the morning…

JJ was waiting at the house for them. She had raided Wilkes’ kitchen and had a hot meal prepared for the two exhausted men.

“No luck?” She asked, even though she already knew the answer.

“No.” Morgan sighed, glancing down at the kittens gamboling around the kitchen. He and Hotch sat down and ate, their stomachs growling loudly. But neither of them really enjoyed it… they couldn’t help but think about Reid… that he was out there in the cold… hungry.

And he was. Reid was shivering. He was hungry and thirsty. But he wasn’t focused on it. He was concentrating. He was remembering. He remembered walking down a hall full of teenagers. Almost all of them were at LEAST a foot taller than he was. Even the girls! Jocks watched him pass, leering at him and laughing when he flinched away… his back was aching from the weight of the books in his backpack, and more that he had clutched in his arms… 

That memory led to another. His books scattered around on the ground, papers blowing away. He was crying, trying to scramble away from the cruel young men who were torturing him. One of them dangled his glasses before him and jerked them away when he stretched his fingers out towards them.

That led to another memory… He was sitting on a counter. A woman stood before him.

“Oh, Spencer…” She sighed. She had long, unruly blonde hair cascading around her shoulders and down her back. Her face was thin and deeply lined. Her blue eyes held warmth and wisdom… but Reid knew that sometimes, there would also be madness. But this woman was aware right now. She was dabbing at his lip with a wet cloth, a sad look on her face.

“Things like this happen all the time, baby.” She said, softly. “People pick on those they don’t understand, or whom they feel threatened by. Your mind… it will always make you a target, Spencer. But remember. It’s not YOUR fault. Just because that’s how humanity is, it doesn’t mean it’s right.” She put the cloth down and brushed his hair out of his face, looking at the bloodshot brown eyes, one of them almost swollen shut.

“You will be a better man than any of them could EVER be.” And she took his face in her hands, and kissed his forehead. He smiled slightly, his lip stinging at the motion. She smiled back at him, then turned and picked up his broken glasses. She sighed and put them in her pocket, then lifted him off of the counter. “Come on, baby. Let’s go get you a new pair.”

Reid came out of that memory with tears in his eyes… His heart was pounding in his chest…

He remembered his mother… And then, he remembered his father. And it wasn’t Jonathan Wilkes. Then, names.

William and Diana Reid. Father and Mother of Spencer Reid. The man with a brilliant mind.

“Your mind… such a treasure…” He heard his mother’s words in his brain. Then he heard his father.

“I stopped being surprised by Spencer’s mind a long time ago.”

Reid sighed and stared off into the darkness.

“We’re not statistics, Spencer.” His father had left. He closed his eyes. He knew that remembering who he was would not all be fun. He would have to remember the bad as well as the good. But that didn’t make it any easier.

His father had left. When he was ten. Just a little boy. Left him with his mother. Hi schizophrenic mother!

Schizophrenic…

“I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind…”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hotch stood in the doorway of Alexander Wilkes’ bedroom. The room where Reid had slept for the past month. He sighed and stepped in. JJ and Morgan were asleep on the sofas in the living room. 

Hotch stepped in and looked around. He smiled slightly. Books were everywhere. Just like Reid. Slowly, he sat down on the bed. A moment later, the kittens leapt up and moved over to him, sniffing curiously.

“Guess we should get used to each other…” Hotch murmured, reaching out and petting Morgan. “If Reid takes you home when we get him back, we’ll be seeing a lot of each other…” And he slowly lay down, resting his head on the pillow. And he was suddenly assaulted by Reid’s scent. Hotch moaned slightly, turning his head into the pillow and inhaling, deeply. God, he missed the boy. The kittens decided that this guy was okay, and curled up next to him. And Hotch was lulled to sleep by the scent of his lover, and the purring of the kittens.


	6. Chapter 6

“Agent Hotchner!”

Hotch turned and looked at a man running up to him, grinning. 

“Yes?”

“Officer Brent.” The man said, grinning. “Came in from Salt Lake City.”

“… It’s nice to meet you. What can I do for you?”

“I’ve brought a few of my canine units, sir.” The man said, and looked back at a car. Three men and a woman stood there. One had a German Shepherd by his side. Another a Belgian Malinois. Another had a Bloodhound. The last had a Golden Retriever. Hotch’s heart leapt.

“… Excellent.” He breathed.

“Come meet them.” Brent said, and Hotch followed him over to the group. “This is Officer Hedrick and his partner, Sterling.” He said, and Hotch shook hands with the handler of the German Shepherd. “Officer Miranda and his partner Morpheus.” The handler of the Malinois nodded to Hotch, while holding tightly to the leash of his over excited dog, who was over stimulated by all the people, and the presence of the other dogs. “Both are fully trained police K9 Units.” Brent continued. “Officer Ramos and Copper here are our best tracking team.” Hotch nodded and shook hands with the handler of the bloodhound. “And this is Miss Randall and her dog, Topaz. They’re volunteers, Topaz is a search and rescue dog.” Hotch blinked as the Golden Retriever wagged her tail and licked his hand.

“I appreciate you all coming out.” He said, looking at the canine handlers. “I take it you will need a scent for them to follow?”

They all confirmed this. Hotch told them to hold on and ran into the house. A moment later, he returned. “Here.” He offered them a pair of pajama pants that had been in the corner of Alex’s bedroom. The dogs began to sniff it over, fully. “We can also get you something from the horse he rode out of here on.” Hotch offered.

“That might be good.” Officer Miranda said. Baron’s saddle blanket was brought. The dogs sniffed this with interest as well.

“Take them out to the road.” Hotch said. The dogs were loaded up in the car and they drove out to the road. Once there, the handlers climbed out of the car and the dogs scampered around, sniffing. Then, the Malinois barked sharply and tugged at his leash.

“Sir! He’s got it! Let him go?” Officer Miranda asked, shouting over the dogs who were all barking excitedly now that they had the scent, the Bloodhound’s baying laying a strong undertone like a bass guitar, punctuated by the sharp, staccato yaps of the Malinois. The German Shepherd had full, deep barks that contrasted with the higher octave yelps from the Retriever. 

At a nod from Hotch, the handlers released the dogs. The animals darted off down the road, pack mentality overtaking as they ran together, following the scent. The cars raced after them. The dogs moved quickly, the Malinois still barking in excitement.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

His body was numb… he couldn’t feel the pain anymore… the sore stiffness of his limbs… He was so thirsty… so tired…

But he remembered so much more now… 

He remembered him. He remembered Gideon. He owed his career to that man. He was Supervisory Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid of the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Damn. His full title sure was a mouthful… 

Reid giggled to himself in mild exhausted hysteria. His stomach was cramping. There was acidic bile in his throat. He swallowed it. He thought of his kittens, Morgan and Garcia. He was amused. He would have to rename them. He remembered their namesakes. Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia. Funny. He had named the girl kitten Morgan and the boy Garcia. Oh, how he would tease Morgan about that later. He hoped… He heard the horse below him snort and stomp again… 

He was tired… so tired… He closed his eyes.

His last thought was one of frustration… why couldn’t he find more memories of his lover?!

Who was Aaron?!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The handlers called their dogs to order when they reached the fence that the horses had leapt over. Officers and FBI Agents all clamored over the fence, and began to head in the direction that the canines were leading them. It was late afternoon, and squirrels darted out of their paths… Chipmunks chattered in the trees, and nesting birds warbled to one another. But it was a cold day… They walked for almost two and a half hours. Then, the dogs got excited again.

“Something’s moving up there…” Morgan hissed, and pulled his gun. They heard thumps… a snort. And then, the challenging scream of an enraged stallion. They moved through the trees, and there he was. Flint reared back, lashing out at the men and dogs with his hooves, eyes rolling in his head, ears flat against his skull. He bared his teeth as he pranced around before a hunters’ hut in a tree.

“Get him away from there!” Hotch called, heart pounding. Morgan had lunged for the ladder, but Flint pivoted and kicked out with his powerful hindquarters. Morgan yelped, then ducked and rolled away, narrowly missing having his skull crushed. The horse was maddened. He wouldn’t let anyone near…

The dogs were going ballistic, only fueling the stallion. The handlers quickly took their dogs away from the scene. Now they just had to figure out what to do with the horse… 

“I’m calling in for a tranquilizer.” The sheriff told Hotch.

“We can’t wait for that!” Hotch cried no longer thinking straight, so great was his desperation to get to his young agent. “Shoot the thing!”

“And deal with accusations of animal cruelty?” The sheriff snorted. “It will be here soon.” He assured Hotch. And forty five minutes later, they heard the screaming of an engine. A moment later, a man on a four wheeler arrived, a rifle strapped to his back. He nodded to the sheriff and looked at the horse.

“… I’ll be damned.” He sighed. “Flint.”

“You know this horse?” Hotch asked.

“Oh yeah. He doesn’t like people. Aside from Jonathan Wilkes. He killed Alexander Wilkes, you know.”

“We know.” Hotch growled. “Just get him away from that ladder.”

“I’ll put him down for a nap.” The gunman said, and raised the rifle. A shot rang out, and the horse bucked and neighed, turning and biting at the dart in his shoulder. A few minutes later, his anxious stamping grew slow and sluggish. Then, he slowly sunk to the ground and the man knelt, stroking the horse’s neck. “I’ll take him from here. I’ve handled him before…”

Hotch didn’t wait any longer. He ran around the horse and pulled himself up the ladder and into the little hut. And there lay Reid, bound and gagged, pale, eyes closed…

“Reid…” He gasped, reaching out and pressing his fingers to the boy’s throat. A gentle flutter under his fingers brought a relieved sigh from the man’s lips. “Reid… come on… wake up…” He removed the gag as Morgan joined him, slicing through the ropes and shoving them off of the young man’s body. Reid moaned, and they both looked up at his face.

Reid cracked his eyes open and stared at them for a moment, before they fell closed again. Whenever they moved his limbs, he winced in pain.

“Let’s get him out of here…” Hotch gasped, and climbed down the ladder. When Morgan appeared at the top with Reid in his arms, cheers went up among the searchers. Morgan lowered Reid down, his hands under the boy’s arms, and Rossi and Hotch received him and lay him down on the red plastic stretcher that had been brought along. They wrapped him tightly in a blanket and strapped him down. Then Rossi, Morgan, Hotch and the sheriff picked it up and began to make the long trek back. By the time they reached the ambulance, it was freezing, and sleet fell. The sheriff had put his hat over Reid’s face to spare the boy the icy drops.

The paramedics quickly took charge, getting an IV drip started to deal with Reid’s dehydration, and getting his body temperature up. On the way to the hospital, Reid opened his eyes a couple of times. Each time, they looked around at the faces around him, and eventually would find Hotch. Reid would stare at him for a bit before letting his eyes fall closed again. When they were pulling into the drive, Reid cracked his eyes open and just looked at his superior. Hotch leaned closer, reaching a hand up and laying it on Reid’s face. Reid blinked, slowly, then gave him a small smile.

“… I know you…” He breathed, softly, before closing his eyes again. Then the vehicle stopped and Reid was taken away from Hotch. The man watched Reid go, a small smile on his own face.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A brunette woman was staring at him with a strange look on her face. She reached out and poked his cheek. “… He’s so life like.” She breathed, and the people around them laughed. 

His mind spun. A strange man looked at one of the FBI Agents… the elder man with a beard. “Where did you find this kid?”

“He was left in a basket on the steps of the FBI.” The man murmured under his breath.

Another flash… a pop as a black film canister went shooting across an office, landing at the feet of the team leader. He picked it up and held it up, leveling a look on the young man. “Physics magic?”

“… Yes sir?” Reid admitted, weakly.

“Reid, we talked about this.” The man said, setting the canister back down on the desk.

“Sorry, sir.”

“… You’re really starting to get some distance on those things.” And he turned and walked away.

The world spun again… He was staggering through the same office, his head in a hot, rubber mask, rubber hands on his own. He crept up behind the man before him, growling and groaning.

“Raaawrrr… I’m going to EAT you!” The man turned, then jumped back.

“Whah!? REID!” He howled, and the woman at the other desk grinned and laughed.

…

What looked like a woman in a pink robe with long brown hair sat on a sofa, smoking a cigarette. “And I think the better question would be, what are YOU looking for, Dr. Reid?” She asked, looking into the shadows. He stepped forward.

“I think you know what I’m looking for.” He told her. 

“I wanna hear you say it.”

“I am looking for Adam.”

…

Reid stared out the glass door holding his phone to his ear, staring across a rose garden at the three men who were staring back at him, two looking very worried. “Hotch, I really messed up this time.” He gasped. His throat was dry, and he was developing a fever.

…

“Boys have a way of sorting these things out for themselves.” The older man said, shaking his head. Reid felt anger flare up in him.

“Yeah, they sure do.” He laughed, sarcastically. “Right now, Owen is out there sorting it out with an assault rifle.” He threw the file down on the floor and stalked out of the room.

…

He was slowly moving down a hall, hands in the air.

“Your mother… she explained everything to me!” A raspy voice called.

“My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic who would forget to eat if she wasn’t kept properly medicated and supervised!”

…

“Special Agent Reid—“

“Doctor Reid!” Gideon interrupted.

“… Doctor Reid… our expert on, well… everything… And after busting my butt in this office for two years, I hope you remember me.”

…

He jumped as a golden retriever barked at him. A man grabbed her collar and pulled her back.

“Sandy, no no no no no! I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Hoch said to the man pulling the dog back. “It’s what we call the Reid affect… happens with children too! I’m Agent Hotchner, this is Special Agent Dr. Reid.”

…

The Path to the end  
Begins at his start  
To find her, first calm  
Her long broken heart  
She sits in a window  
With secrets from her Knight  
Is it adventure that keeps  
Him out of her sight.

…

“You should see what comes up when you enter the word ‘death’ into a search engine!”

“… Reid, man, no wonder you can’t get a date!”

…

“Your mom read you Valentines poems? Hello Therapy?”

…

“Are you hacking into the government’s HMO database? Is that legal?”

“Of course not. We’ll both go to prison and you’ll be someone’s bitch.”

“… Really?”

…

A gorgeous blonde made a face as she drank some coffee. She set the cup down. “Uhg…” Then she snatched his soda bottle out of his hand. “You don’t mind sharing with me, do you?” She asked, and took a drink without waiting for an answer. He shook his head and muttered “No” anyway, eyes darting around nervously. She then handed the bottle back and shed her robe. He took a drink and watched. Underneath, she was wearing a very skimpy bikini. She walked away, and he stared after, unable to avoid eyeing that luscious body up and down. Then he turned away and placed the bottle to his lips, tipping it back and feeling the sweet liquid trickle onto his tongue, the carbonation tingling. Then, a teasing voice behind him.

“You don’t mind sharing with me, do you?” Morgan chuckled, and he righted his head and the bottle, just barely able to keep from spitting the soda out. He swallowed, quickly, and turned, eyes wide and face red.

“Shut up!” He blurted, embarrassed, and hurried off, quickly checking his movement, turning, and scuttling off the RIGHT direction, Morgan’s voice following.

“Go get ‘em, lover!”

…

“He who seeks the Queen of all Knowledge, speak and be recognized.”

“Garcia, we’re sending you some cigarettes.”

“Eugh… Eh, a flesh eating virus will be faster and far less painful…”

“We need some butts rushed to the lab for DNA analysis.”

“Oh, Reid… I love it when you say ‘butts’…” Reid raised an eyebrow. “Send away, sugar. Bang bang for now!” Still weirded out, Reid put his phone away.

…

“Your team members. Choose one to die.”

“… No.”

Tobias pulled the trigger.

…

Reid gasped and jerked awake. He stared around at the white hospital room. There was a man at the foot of his bed, staring at him. He slowly smiled.

“Well now… look who’s back!” He said, hanging the clipboard on the end of the bed and walking closer. “How are you feeling?”

“… Cold.” Reid breathed. “Thirsty.” The man nodded. He walked into the bathroom and returned a moment later with a cup of water, gently assisting Reid in drinking it.

“I’ll have another blanket sent in. Do you remember who you are?”

“Bits and pieces. The Agents. Are they here?”

“They’re waiting right outside.”

“… I want to see them.”

“I’ll send them in.” The doctor said, nodding to Reid and leaving the room. A moment later, the door opened and five people walked in. They were all silent, watching Reid with uncertain looks. Reid offered them a shy smile. Most of them returned it.

“… You’re Hotch.” Reid said, softly, looking at the dark eyed man in front.

“… You remember me?”

“… I remember your name. I remember your face. I have a few… flashes.” He sighed. “I’m not… Alexander Wilkes, am I?”

“… No. You’re not.” Hotch said, walking over.

“You know me.”

“We do.” Hotch confirmed, nodding. Slowly, Reid moved himself to sit up.

“… Tell me.” Reid pleaded, softly. “Who am I?” Hotch blinked at him, then smiled and handed him what looked like a wallet. Reid blinked and took it, flipping it open. He stared at the big bold letters; F B I. He stared at his badge and credentials.

“… I knew it.” He breathed, slowly smiling. “I knew that the memories were real.” He looked back up at Hotch. Then he looked at the others. “And you’re Morgan.”

“I am.” Morgan said, smiling.

“… Where’s Garcia?”

“Back home. At Quantico.” Morgan said. Reid frowned slightly, and silently repeated the word. Quantico.

“… Where is Gideon?” He asked.

“… Gideon left. A long time ago.” Hotch said, frowning. “Don’t you remember? You went to the cabin, looking for him. He left you a letter.”

Reid blinked, then frowned and stared down at the sheets on his bed. Then, his eyes glazed over.

“… Spencer…” He murmured. “I knew it would be you who came to the cabin to check on me. You must be frightened. I apologize for that. I never meant to cause you any pain. And I also never envisioned writing this letter. I’ve searched for a satisfactory explanation for what I’m doing. All I’ve come up with is a profiler needs to have solid footing. And I don’t think I do anymore. 

The team stared in silence as Reid seemed to go into a trance and recite by heart the letter that they all knew that Gideon had left for him… the one that none of them had ever read. 

“The world confuses me. The cruelty. Indifference. Tragedy. When my dear friend Sarah was murdered, it tore a hole in me. And I truly believed the way to handle the pain was to get back to our work as quickly as possible. Get on to help someone else. I thought I could handle Sarah’s murder. Work through it. And the very first case we had after was on a college campus. 

“You see, I met Sarah at college. On a campus just like that one thirty one years ago. Campuses are supposed to be places of life and excitement. They’re supposed to be about the future; finding out who you are, who you’re going to be. It’s supposed to be about dreams, not nightmares. About hope. I really don’t understand the world anymore.

“All homicide scenes are tragic. But when the victim is someone young, their life ripped away before they’ve even had a chance to live, it’s devastating. In this line of work, I was afraid that I would lose the ability to trust. But I’ve realized that I can’t really look at anyone without seeing their death. And as bad as losing faith in humanity is, losing your faith in happy endings is much worse.

“How many victims have we seen? How many crime scenes? Hundreds? Thousands? Pictures of families. Victims. Both alive and dead. I was always happy to stay objective. To stay at arms’ length. And now, all I see is Sarah.

“Nathan Tubbs was easy. But there was a time in my career when I would have asked the question I should have asked; Was he too easy? The biggest trap for a profiler to fall into is pride, forgetting that for all of your skills, profiling is just a tool.

“It was like you could physically feel the mood change on the campus. Kids. They’re so resilient. They trust and believe in a way I can remember but can’t reach anymore. Like a very old picture. You remember the circumstances, but the feelings, the emotions; they’re just out of your grasp. They believed in us. Believed in me. The way Sarah believed in me. And, as with Sarah, I feel that I’d led them right to the slaughter. What was I even doing there? How many times have I told you that a profiler cannot do the job if the mind is unfocused? If anything is going on in your personal life that would cloud your judgment? My mind has never been more unfocused than it was on that campus.

“Did I let a lion loose amongst babies? Was my judgment clouded by a need to make someone pay for Sarah’s death? Two more dead… was it a price that needed to be paid? Is death ever worth it? Was the world always this gray? Is it only in the movies that it’s black and white? Or is that just an illusion? I used to know. I used to understand my place. My direction. Where I was headed. Profiling requires belief. Belief in the profile. Belief in yourself. After Sarah, I no longer trust myself at home. After Tubbs I no longer trust myself in the field. And without that I have nothing.

“And that was the last domino. The death of that girl. Hotch being suspended over something that was my fault. I said at the beginning of this letter that I knew it would be you to come up here. I’m so sorry the explanation couldn’t be better, Spencer. And I am so sorry that it doesn’t make any more sense. But I’ve already told you. I just don’t understand any of it anymore. I’m sorry. I guess I’m just looking for it again. For the belief I had back in college. The belief I had when I first met Sarah and it all seemed so right. The belief in happy endings.

The team stared in silence at Reid, sitting there in the hospital bed. His eyes were still glazed, staring off into space. But tears were rolling down his thin cheeks, and he looked so… alone. Abandoned. After a moment, his eyes slid closed, forcing another wave of tears down his face. Then he opened his eyes again and looked at the others. They stared back silently. That was the first time any of them had ever heard the words that Jason Gideon had left Reid. And now… they seemed so inadequate. 

“Reid?” Morgan called, carefully. Reid looked at him. “Are you alright?”

“… I will be.” Reid said, softly. “It’s hard. Remembering. Not everything is… good.”

“We know that, kid.” Morgan said, walking over to Reid’s bedside and taking his hand. “Believe me. We know about the memories you need to get back. And we know that a lot of them are bad. And all YOU need to know is that we’re here for you. And you can come to any of us, any time.”

“… Thanks.” Reid said, smiling at him. Then he slowly tilted his head to the side, contemplating Morgan’s face. Then, his eyes unfocused again. A moment later, they slid closed and his hand tightened around Morgan’s and his breathing picked up. Morgan frowned.

“Reid? Reid?!” He moved closer as Reid slumped back into the pillows. The rest of the team converged on their youngest member, worried. They called his name, gently. Finally, he jerked and opened his eyes, blinking and looking around.

“Are you okay?!” Rossi demanded.

“Huh? Uh, yeah… I… I just… I was remembering.” Reid said. “When something triggers a memory, that memory triggers another, and another and it just comes as a flood… It happened all day yesterday. When I was tied up.” He sighed. “Morgan… Derek Morgan. That’s you.”

“Yup.”

“… Garcia… Garcia…” Reid mused.

“… Penelope.” Morgan said.

“… Penelope Garcia.” Reid recited, faithfully. “… Jason Gideon.” Then he turned and looked up. “… SSA Rossi. Rossi… David! David Rossi.”

“that’s right, kid.” Rossi said, grinning. Reid looked at the blonde. Then, he grinned.

“JJ!”

“Oh, Spence!” She cried, and leaned over, kissing his cheek and hugging him. “I’m so glad you’re okay…” Reid grinned at her, then looked at Prentiss and cocked his head again.

“… Not Elle…”

“Nope.” She said with a smile.

“… Emily.”

“Yeah.”

“… Emily Prentiss.” Reid said, and his eyes unfocused again. This time, the team waited. In a few minutes, Reid came back to them. “… I’m sorry!” He gasped, and Emily blinked.

“… For what?”

“… Benjamin Cyrus.”

“What? No… Oh no, Reid…” She gasped, taking both of his hands in hers. “Reid, you promised me that you wouldn’t do this. It was MY choice. It was NOT your fault.”

“… I still feel guilty.”

“Don’t.” She said. Reid sighed and nodded, then turned and looked up at the last person in the room.

“… Hotch.” He said, softly. The man smiled.

“Yeah…” He said, placing a hand on Reid’s shoulder. Reid frowned.

“Hotch… Hotch…” He mumbled to himself, thinking. “… Unit Chief. SSA… Hotch… Hotchner! Aaron Hotchn—oh!” He gasped, cutting himself off.

And there it was.

Aaron.

He had found Aaron.


	7. Chapter 7

After remembering Aaron Hotchner, Reid had fallen into another memory recovering trance. He collapsed onto the bed, eyes falling closed and groaning. After a bit, he began to squirm and groan, as if in pain. Hotch frowned and leaned over Reid.

“Reid? Are you okay?” He called. Beads of perspiration began to pop up across his brow and trickle down his face… Reid became flushed… His eyes fluttered and he moaned, lip trembling.

“… That doesn’t look good.” Morgan blurted. “He must be remembering something bad…” Hotch’s mind was racing. He didn’t agree with Morgan. He had a feeling that Reid was remembering something very good. And VERY intimate. Shit!

“… Get the doctor!” Hotch blurted, moving closer to Reid. “Go!” Morgan nodded and ran, and Rossi herded the girls out of the room. He had a feeling he knew what was going on.

“Reid…” Hotch called again. “… Spencer?” Reid was beginning to pant. Hotch gripped his shoulders and shook them lightly. “Reid, wake up! Come on, baby… Bad timing, here…”

“A-Aaronnnn…” Reid groaned. Hotch winced and looked around, then dove for the water glass and emptied it over Reid’s face. The boy jerked and gasped, struggling to sit up, face filled with surprise. “Hotch!”

“… I had to snap you out of it.” Hotch said. Reid stared at him.

“… Hotch.” He gasped. Hotch stared back, slowly lifting a hand and laying it on Reid’s cheek. “… Aaron.” The man smiled and nodded, and Reid smiled back. Then Hotch leaned close, and covered Reid’s lips with his own. Reid’s breath hitched, and then he mewled softly and melted into Hotch’s embrace. As Hotch kissed him, the flood of memories returned. His mind spun and his body tingled as he remembered every touch… every kiss…

Passionate lovemaking on a snowy night by the fireplace… buying matching rings in a small shop… lying on the sofa together watching TV and reading… at the firing range, just practicing… the thrill of a quick tumble in Hotch’s office with the team on the other side of the door… The nightmare with Shane Harvey… Meeting Hotch’s brother…

God… so much to remember. 

Hotch moved back and Reid stared at him, and smiled. “I remember this…” He purred, and Hotch grinned.

“… Good.” Hotch said, and hugged Reid, tightly. “God, I was so worried about you.”

“I’m sorry, Aaron.”

“Don’t be… it’s not your fault.”

And less than a week later, Reid found himself boarding the familiar airplane. He sat between Hotch and Morgan, across from Rossi, JJ and Emily, and the group spent the entire flight home reminiscing and watching the playful antics of Reid’s kittens, newly christened Apollo and Artemis.

Before they knew it, they were back at Quantico. The team silently followed Reid, watching him slowly meander through the building, drinking in every sight and sound, a smile of childlike innocence and delight on his face as memories flooded back. Everything triggered SOME memory or another… a woman at a drinking fountain… the smell of coffee… the elevator reminded him of another incident that led to everyone laughing at Morgan’s expense.

The elevator opened, and they all stepped out.

“Agent Hotchner.” And they all froze and turned. Reid’s eyes widened as Section Chief Strauss headed towards them. He squeaked and stepped behind Hotch.

“… I don’t like her, do I?” He gasped, and all but Hotchner struggled not to laugh.

“Agent Reid is okay?” She asked.

“… He will be.” Hotch said. “It will still be some weeks before his mind is ready for the job again. We’ve brought him here to aid in his recovery. The doctors advised that we surround him with familiar people and places.”

“So he DOES have amnesia?” She asked.

“Chemically induced and temporary. He’s already regaining memories rapidly. We spent a couple of days in Las Vegas and helped him get back a lot from his childhood. We’re going to take him to the Academy later. But for now, we’re going to visit Penelope Garcia.” Hotch said. Strauss nodded and leaned to the side, trying to see more of Reid than just his eyes over Hotch’s shoulder. “He doesn’t remember you yet, ma’am.” Hotch sighed. “Give him time.” And he placed a hand on Reid’s shoulder and steered him down the hall towards Garcia’s office. He knocked on the door.

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!” Garcia called. Hotch rolled his eyes, but Reid blinked, then grinned and stepped around Hotch, pushing the door open. Garcia turned and stared, then stood. “… Reid!” Reid just grinned at her.

“… I know you.” He announced.

“Oh, baby, you’re okay!” Garcia cried. She took the two steps over to Reid and flung her arms around him. Reid grinned and hugged her back. “I’ve been feeding your fish for you.”

“… I have fish?”

“Yeah! So… where’s the kitty?”

“Shhh…” Reid hissed, grinning and reaching into his messenger bag.

“Ohhh…” Garcia cooed when Reid pulled the two kittens out. 

“Reid.” Hotch said, smiling. “We have work to do. You stay here with Garcia. Maybe go over our old cases. See what memories you can jog.”

“Okay!” Reid said, smiling and pulling up a chair, sitting down beside the woman who was cuddling the kittens in her lap. Hotch smiled and closed the door, confident that Garcia would be very good for Reid…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The door to Garcia’s office opened, and Kevin Lynch stepped in. He blinked. Garcia was leaning back in her chair, gently petting Agent Reid’s hair as the boy rapidly scrolled down a screen on her computer, reading the text. She looked back at Kevin and smiled, waving, then pressing a finger to her lips. Kevin blinked and walked over, staring at the ball of fur in her lap, especially when it blinked at him.

“You got him back.” Kevin whispered. “How is he?”

“… Remembering.” Garcia replied.

“… You’re Kevin Lynch.” Reid said, suddenly. Kevin blinked at him.

“… I, uh… yeah. I am. Hello, Agent Reid. Good to see you back.”

“Thanks!” Reid said, sitting back.

“What are you reading?”

“Our old cases.”

“He’s been at it all day.” Garcia snorted.

“Has he?” Hotch said from the doorway. “How far did you get?”

“… I’m done!” Reid chirped, smiling. “My head is killing me!”

“… And you’re smiling?” Kevin asked.

“I remember!” Reid announced. Hotch chuckled.

“Come on. I’ll take you home.” Reid nodded to Hotch and stood, collecting his kittens and cuddling them close. He smiled as Garcia kissed his cheek, then followed Hotch out. When they reached the elevator, Strauss was wearing her coat and waiting for it too. The elevator opened and they stepped in. A kitten mewed and she made a double take at the two Siamese in Reid’s arms. Reid was smiling down at them, and tucked them into his coat. They poked their heads out curiously. Hotch glanced at Reid as he stuffed their heads back into his coat, and smiled in amusement.

He glanced at Strauss. She stepped closer.

“How is he doing?” She asked.

“He spent the day going through our case files.” Hotch said with a small smile. “The doctor said that his mind is more… resilient than most. He’s remembering much more much faster than a normal mind would.”

“When can I come back to work?” Reid asked, suddenly. Hotch blinked and looked at him. 

“When your doctors, AND I think you’re ready.” Hotch said, smiling. Reid nodded, looking a bit disappointed. The elevator opened and Hotch placed a hand on Reid’s shoulder, steering him out. “Come on. I have a feeling that you haven’t eaten today. We’ll get you something on the way to your place.” 

Strauss watched Reid climb into the passenger seat of Hotch’s car and fasten his seatbelt. Hotch started the engine, and they drove away.

About halfway to Reid’s loft, Reid sat straight up. “Aaron! Pull over in here!” He cried, pointing. Hotch blinked and turned into the shopping center. “There.” Reid said, pointing at PetSmart. Hotch blinked again. 

“Oh. Good idea.” He said. They parked and walked into the store, Reid grabbing a cart. He took of his coat and laid it in the basket and set the kittens in it, then began to push the thing around the store. Hotch followed, casually, looking around. Hell, he had never been in the place. Reid picked up a litter box, litter, food dishes, an obscene number of toys, two collars, a pet carrier, kitty bed, and then spent several minutes looking over the different assortment of foods, checking their ingredients. Hotch had to hold back a smile when Reid went into lecture mode about how awful it was that so many of the popular brands were, nutritionally, crap. He rattled off the statistics of how common food allergies were in pets and how many foods were more fillers than actual nutrition. He finally settled on a brand called Royal Canin, picking up the bag labeled as a kitten diet, and happily pointing out that there was a specific Siamese diet for when the kittens were grown up.

After that he ended up in front of the fish wall, staring at the fish. Hotch knew that this was where Reid came to get his fish. He stared at them for a long time, thoughtful. When a Petsmart Associate moved to ask if Reid needed help with anything, Hotch held up a hand and shook his head. Reid was trying to remember things… The Associate blinked and moved away. 

“… I keep these, don’t I…?” Reid mused. “Barbs… gouramis… angel fish.”

“… Yes.” Hotch said, smiling. Reid nodded and stared for a few more minutes, then turned and pushed the cart away. Hotch sighed and followed. 

Reid picked up some information from the Pet Hospital in the store, then went to the checkout counter, paid, had little name tags engraved for the kittens, and they headed back to the car.

They stopped off and grabbed some dinner to go on the way, and then headed to Reid’s home. Hotch parked the car and Reid stared up. “I live above the coffee shop.” He mused to himself.

“That’s right.” Hotch said, and helped Reid carry everything upstairs. He unlocked the place and punched in the code on Reid’s alarm system, disarming it. Reid flipped on the lights and looked around. The kittens began to explore. Hotch watched Reid slowly wander, touching and inspecting everything. 

He spent a long time in front of the large 100 gallon fish tank that the team had given him this past Christmas, identifying every type… Tiger barb, rosy barb, dwarf gourami, blue gourami, green and gold gourami, striped gourami, a school of little neon tetras, several ghost shrimp marching around the bottom, annoying the algae eaters… Reid fed his fish.

Hotch just smiled and began to unpack everything. He set up the litter box in the bathroom and the pet dishes in the kitchen and filled them. The carrier went in the front closet and the little pet bed under the bedside table. Then he just sat down on the sofa and watched Reid meander about the loft, drinking in everything.

It was almost an hour before he got Reid to sit down and have dinner. They talked about a lot over their food. Reid would ask Hotch about holes in his memory, and Hotch did his best to fill them in. Eventually, after dinner, Reid was sitting before Hotch between the man’s legs, his back leaning into Hotch’s chest. After a bit, he asked something else…

“What happened to Jonathan Wilkes?” Reid asked. Hotch blinked and looked at him.

“Oh. Well, he pleaded guilty. To all charges. Twenty eight counts of kidnapping. Twenty seven counts of murder.”

“But… he didn’t actually kill anyone.” Reid pointed out.

“He did. He drugged the boys and forced them to draw up the euthanasia chemical into the syringe. Then, with gloves, he injected it.” Hotch said. “He confessed to that.”

“So… I didn’t kill the one before me?” Reid gasped, eyes wide.

“No Spencer.” Hotch said, reassuringly. “You didn’t.” Reid let out a sigh of relief, and Hotch hugged him, smiling, then pulled something out of his pocket. Reid looked up when Hotch dangled something in front of his eyes.

“… Where did you find it?!” Reid gasped, staring at the golden ring on a chain, the topaz glinting.

“Everything that was on you when you were kidnapped was found in a chest in Flint’s stall.” Hotch said, smiling and fastening it around Reid’s neck. Reid smiled and cuddled back into Hotch’s arms running his finger down the chain around Hoch’s neck, and over the gleaming fire opal set into the band. A few minutes later, he grew restless.

“Aaron?”

“Yes?”

“I uh… I had this dream while I was there…” Reid said softly.

“Oh?”

“It was… you and me.” Reid said. “In bed.” Hotch raised an eyebrow when Reid shivered in his arms and moaned softly. “It felt so good…” Hotch watched as Reid squirmed before him and ran his hands down his own body. “I woke up and… God…” His hands slid over his own inner thighs, then brushed over the front of his pants which… seemed to be straining a bit. “I was so hard…” Reid hissed and Hotch watched the boy’s fingers slip under the waistband of his own pants.

“Spencer…” Hotch breathed, feeling his blood quicken. He turned his head, burying his face in Reid’s hair and inhaled, taking in the boy’s scent. Then he lifted Reid into his arms and carried him over to the bed, laying him down. “What did I do?” He whispered, running his hands down Reid’s side and slowly beginning to lift his shirt, exposing his stomach and chest to the air. Reid moaned. “Tell me… What did you dream?” Hotch asked, picking up Reid’s scarf from the floor and gently tying it around his head, blindfolding him before removing the clothing from both of their bodies.

Reid ran his tongue over dry lips, and after watching that, Hotch mimicked the motion. Reid’s lips parted and he began to speak, his voice hot and trembling in his lust.

“I felt your hands on me…” Reid breathed. “On my body…” He stopped and whimpered when suddenly, he did feel the hands on his body. “Oh God…”

“Shhh… keep going…” Hotch murmured. 

“God… Aaron… I… I felt heat on my neck… a kiss…” He gasped when he felt his lover’s breath at his throat, and a soft kiss. “And then you talked to me…”

“What did I say…?” Hotch asked.

“You said… ‘Come on, baby… Let me in…’ And you kissed me… and you were… between my legs…” Reid panted, and a moment later, Hotch covered Reid’s lips with his own, and moved between Reid’s legs. “You told me to relax… then… fingers… inside of me…” Reid twitched when he heard the snap of a cap on the bottle of lubrication he had. Then, a finger slid into him. Reid’s mouth fell open in a keening moan. Hotch smirked, watching the young man squirm. He added another finger, and after a bit, another.

“Well?” He asked after a few minutes. 

“… Kiss me…” Reid gasped, and Hotch leaned down, claiming the boy’s lips. The kiss was long and passionate, and both of them were panting and trembling in need by the time it was over. “You… took them out…” Reid continued. “And… And you said…” Reid stopped when a finger pressed to his lips, silencing him, and the digits slid out of his body. He was gathered into his lover’s arms, and then he felt Hotch’s breath on his ear.

“… Let me in…” Hotch hissed, and pressed forward, slowly impaling Reid on his erection. Reid groaned loudly. How did he know what to do? Reid wasn’t telling Hotch anything, but the man was fulfilling his dream perfectly. Kisses littered his face and neck. A hand caressed his face, fingers ran through his hair, their progress impeded by small snarls. The soft rocking motion began and Reid moaned as Hotch’s engorged penis massaged his inner walls. Reid arched his back in pleasure and clung to his lover.

“Aaron…” Reid moaned.

“Shhh… come on, baby…” Hotch purred, his voice thick and husky.

“Aaron…” Reid whimpered. “I love you… Don’t leave me… don’t ever leave me…”

“I won’t… I love you, Spencer…” Hotch hissed. He thrust forwards and he struck Reid’s prostate. The young man cried out, his body jerking. He reached up and ripped the scarf from his eyes and stared up at Hotch, his eyes filled with a wild, desperate need. Hotch stared back into those eyes, then he gasped as Reid lunged. Their lips met in a sloppy kiss… tongues dueled for dominance. Long legs wrapped around Hotch’s hips and strong arms pulled Reid firmly against Hotch’s body. Hearts throbbed in a united rhythm against the chests of the men. 

The bodies writhed and undulated against each other, hands moved over sweaty skin… The room was filled with the grunts, gasps and moans of the two men entwined with one another, both lost in the throes of passion. Neither noticed the confused kittens watching them from the end of the bed.

Each needed to feel the other as much as possible. Each needed the reassurance that the other was really there… Alive… safe… unharmed… that they were able to share another night of intense lovemaking…. In the backs of their minds, every time they indulged in one another’s bodies, they knew there was the possibility that it may be for the last time…

“I love you, Spencer…” Hotch gasped, running a hand down Reid’s trembling body. He stared down at the boy, gasping on the bed beneath him. God, he was so glad to have Reid back… He had been terrified for weeks that he may have lost one of the people he cherished more than any other.

“A-Aaronnnn!!!” Reid keened suddenly, sobbing in pleasurable desperation. “God! Please!!! I… God… I need…”

“Let go, baby…” Hotch moaned into Reid’s ear, taking the boy into his arms and bucking forward into him, ramming his length into that hot, silken heat over and over… He slid a hand down the boy’s body and began to fondle his lust-swollen genitals. “Come on, Spencer… Let go… Cum for me…”

A strangled whine came from Reid’s throat. His muscles tensed and relaxed… tensed and relaxed… all in unison with the waves of pleasure crashing through him. He gasped for breath with every tense shudder, his eyes fluttering. His hands on Hotch’s shoulders gripped and flexed, his nails raking red marks into the man’s skin.

Looking for a new angle to push Reid over the edge with, Hotch gripped Reid’s legs behind his knees and pushed them forwards, nearly bending the boy double. Reid cried out in ecstasy at the new sensations this position brought on. Reid couldn’t hold back his cries any longer.

“Ah! Aaron! God!” He sobbed, arching his back. “Ahhh… Nnnng… Oh God… Please… Ahhn… Nnnh… Hotch… Aaron… God… Oh God, HARDER, PLEASE!!!” Then, something in him snapped. His mind and vision exploded in a white out. He arched his back and screamed out his orgasm, releasing his pent up lust over his and Hotchner’s stomachs. 

Hotch gasped as Reid’s body tightened dramatically, almost painfully around his erection. And God, it was so good… He thrust frantically into Reid’s body, now desperately seeking his own release. His continued efforts fueled Reid, spasms rippling through his body. And finally, Hotch reached the peak of his own pleasure.

“Spencer…” He gasped. “God!” 

Reid cried out, his voice joining that of his superior. Hotch felt like his body was on fire, the flames of pleasure licking over every inch of him… Groaning, he collapsed onto his young lover, holding him close.

Both men clung to each other, Hotch’s face buried in Reid’s hair, and Reid with his face pressed into Hotch’s shoulder. Their bodies were still entwined with one another… They were still intimately linked, the elder’s spent member still nestled inside of the youth’s trembling body. They lay there for a long time, slowly coming down from their sexual highs. Finally, Hotch rolled them onto their sides, but they remained as they were, clinging to one another, bodies still united…

Reid sighed, completely relaxed and sated as he felt Hotch’s breath in his hair… an arm around his waist… Fingers gently rubbing circles over his back. The hand paused, then drew the blankets up over them. Reid was grateful; he was starting to feel the chill as his body temperature lowered. He blinked his eyes open when fingers caressed his face and ran through his hair, before drawing his head up to meet Hotch for a kiss. Reid sighed.

“Tell me…” Hotch whispered against Reid’s lips. “Was it as good as your dream?”

Reid moaned and shivered. “… Fuck, Aaron…” He gasped. “You blew it out of the water…” Hotch blinked, then grinned.

“I’m better than you remember, huh?”

“God, yes…” Reid moaned, and they shared another kiss. Hotch smiled, running fingers down Reid’s face.

“I love you, Spencer… God, I’m so glad you’re okay…”

“I’m glad to be home…” Reid sighed as the kittens decided it was safe to draw closer and curl up near the warm bodies. Hotch smiled and lifted himself up on his elbow, reaching over Reid and turning out the light. Then he lay down again, finally slipping out of Reid’s body. Reid whimpered at the loss and wiggled close to his lover. Hotch lay on his back and smiled as Reid took up his favorite position. He lay his head down on the man’s chest and draped an arm over his waist and a leg over Hotch’s legs. Hotch curled an arm around Reid, hugging him close.

“… I love you, Aaron.” Reid sighed. Hotch looked down at the chestnut locks and pressed a kiss to the crown of Reid’s head.

“Sleep well, Spencer.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

ONE MONTH LATER

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Morning!” Reid called, walking into the BAU.

“Hey! Pretty Boy! Welcome back to active duty!” Morgan called, grinning and standing. 

“I’ve been going out of my MIND.” Reid admitted. “I’ve spent like, three hundred dollars on coffees in bookstores while I just stood around and read random books.”

“He’s not kidding.” Hotch chuckled. “Every time I checked up on him, he was in Borders or Barnes & Noble reading some obscure book.” Morgan grinned and ruffled Reid’s hair.

“Agent Reid.” The group turned and Reid inwardly groaned.

“Section Chief Strauss.” He greeted, nodding.

“Your memory?”

“Almost fully recovered.” Reid said. “I still have a couple of blank spots here and there… gaps in my childhood. Trivial things.”

“Reid’s doctors and myself all agree.” Hotch said calmly. “Reid is fit for the field. He’s ready to go back to work.”

“It’s a relief.” Reid said, nodding.

“… Welcome back, then. I expect you to keep a close eye on him, Agent Hotchner.”

“That won’t be necessary, Ma’am.” Hotch snorted. “Reid is just as sharp as before. If not more so. I have every confidence in his abilities.”

“… Very well.” Strauss said, then went on his way.

Reid sighed. “I was right.”

“About what?” Hotch asked.

“… I don’t like her.”

Rossi, Morgan, Emily and JJ all snickered, and Hotch slowly smiled.

“Everyone get to work.” He snorted, and sent his team on their way. They all went to their respective offices and desks, picking up their files and beginning their work. Reid only lasted ten minutes before he headed to the kitchenette to make himself some coffee. Hotch watched him from his office, silently. He looked up when JJ crossed the bullpen and headed into his office.

“What is it?” He asked.

“We’ve got a bad one.” She said, her voice tense. Hotch nodded and they stepped out of his office. “Everyone to the round table room.” He called. Morgan and Prentiss got up and followed, while JJ poked her head into Rossi’s office. Reid took the stairs in the kitchenette and was already settling down when the rest of the team got there. He had changed seats. He wasn’t where he usually sat, between Morgan and Prentiss. Now, he was in Garcia’s seat, which was between Hotch and Morgan… 

What was once Gideon’s seat. Garcia just blinked and shrugged and took Reid’s usual seat. Hotch just smiled and sat down by Reid. JJ passed out the files while Morgan sat down between Reid and Garcia, flipping some of Reid’s hair into his face. Reid snorted and brushed his hair back, then paused. A gentle hand on his thigh. Reid sat back in his seat and relaxed, sliding a hand under the table. He linked fingers with Hotch and gave JJ his attention.

 

~ * ~

E N D

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